Leave my thoughts behind
by Reikah
Summary: Secret Santa gift fic for Shacha. Kurogane has Fai and he's okay, if weird; but how does Yuui's arrival at Holitsuba change what they have? Shenanigans and dorkiness abound. Kurogane x Fai, Kurogane x Yuui, contains naughty bits. 3 chapters total.
1. Three's my lucky number

This is a fic written for a Secret Santa exchange for Livejournal, now kind of... less secret. It was written for **Shadow_of_Egypt** (Shacha!) who wanted a look at a Kuro/Yuui relationship whether part of K/F or KFY or without. This is the first of three chapters. :3

**Rating: Hard R.****  
><strong>**Pairing: **Kurogane x Yuui, Kurogane x Fai, hints of numerous other pairings.  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Merry Christmas, Shacha! Love, Santa.  
><strong>Warnings<strong>: this fic contains mentions of incest and Seishirou being a disturbing creeper (well, when is he not).

* * *

><p><strong>Leave my thoughts behind<strong>

Three's my lucky number  
>And fortune comes in threes<br>But I wish I knew that number  
>That even little children seem to see<br>Oh, I'm missing everything I knew  
>It's just so hard to be a child<em><br>- Massive Attack, 'Three'_

The ceiling fan whirs lazily, doing little to lessen the closed-in, musty air of his bedroom. Kurogane stares up at it through half-lowered eyelids, his body loose and sated, and for half a second he contemplates whether or not to get up, out of his rumpled heap of sweat-soaked sheets, and turn the air conditioning unit on. It seems like it would require a lot of effort.

"Kuro-coital-sensei has a dopey look on his face," purrs the bane of his existence, and it takes Kurogane several seconds to work out what he's said and then make an appropriately tetchy noise in response. The idiot just laughs.

For a while they lie there atop the covers of Kurogane's bed, dozing; Kurogane's not too proud to admit his body pretty much shuts down for a while after orgasm. When the damned chemistry teacher starts moving, wriggling sideways out of bed and jolting the mattress, Kurogane rouses enough to growl at him.

"No school tomorrow," he says in a low, tired voice, his eyes closed, and feels the bed stop quivering as Fai stills. "Don't have to go anywhere."

Fai hesitates, and Kurogane cranks open one eye to see the blond sitting with one leg hanging off the edge of the bed, the other folded up across the sheets; his back is curved and the knobs of his spine are just visible against the skin from the change in posture. As if sensing Kurogane's gaze Fai tosses his head and glances back at him over one scrawny shoulder, and his mouth crooks into a wide, mischievous grin.

"Some of us teach a _real_ subject, Kuro-sweaty," he trills. "I have three classes' worth of books to grade, unlike Kuro-gym who spends all of his time lounging around in bed~"

Kurogane pushes himself up on the sheets, scowling, his post-coital lassitude fading from his limbs in favour of the white-hot flicker of annoyance. "Oi," he thunders, as Fai stands up and stretches, his back to Kurogane and unashamedly naked; "I have just as much goddamn work as you -"

Fai bends over to search for something under the dresser, and Kurogane suddenly finds his words cut off by the sight of that lean behind. Fai casts him a smug, knowing look over his shoulder and straightens, his boxers clutched in one hand, and Kurogane scowls at him and folds his arms over his chest. The man is an _idiot_.

_Good in bed, though,_ some part of him unhelpfully comments, and it's true. He's been at this school for nigh on a whole year, his longest teaching post yet; and he and the blond idiot have been doing _this_ for about eleven months of that year. As irritatingly cheerful and perky as Fai can be outside Kurogane's apartment (and it's always Kurogane's they go to, as if Fai's is some special case, out of bounds for this kind of tawdriness) he's a whole different man between the sheets, less annoying backchat and more serious, sensual eyes and hollowed cheeks.

"Thank you for the evening," Fai says cheerfully as he pulls up his jeans, fastening his belt around his narrow hips to keep them up. "I'll leave Kuro-bachelor to his instant ramen, shall I~? Bye-bye!"

He waves cheerily as he departs, and Kurogane watches him go and says nothing. It's been eleven months of this and he's used to it. Fai never hangs around afterward, and with him gone Kurogane grunts at the air and climbs out of his bed himself, heading over to the tiny kitchenette in his apartment to fill the kettle with water for a cup of green tea.

Back when they started this... this, whatever it was between them - he'd had thoughts about forcing the blond to stop flitting around like he did. He'd thought maybe Fai was afraid of relationships, of letting people in; for all Fai could talk (and talk, and talk, and _talk_) he was so very close-mouthed about _himself_, preferring to exercise evasion or misdirection to steer his way out of topics that ventured toward the personal. Kurogane asked him just once where he came from, tipsy and sprawled over the sofa in Fai's apartment with the chemistry teacher pouring them both more alcohol; Fai had shrugged and smiled over his glass of sake and said, "Here. And other places Kuro-kyu-sensei probably doesn't know much about."

And this suits him okay, what they have, for now. He doesn't know if he's the type to do that full-on boyfriend thing ('afraid of commitment,' his mother says when he visits on holidays, looking disappointed; his father just sighs and shakes his head) but he's pretty fucking sure he doesn't have the energy to do it for _Fai_, who thinks a day when he isn't exploding things in his lab is a day wasted; who talks all the time and has a key to his apartment and raids his cupboards whenever he feels like it, but cooks dinner for both of them most of the time; who lives on a diet of booze and sugar and can't do something as simple as sew his own buttons on without Kurogane's help.

Whatever, he thinks irritably, stirring the tea leaves with a wooden spoon and glaring at his kitchen furniture like it's the toaster's fault Fai's such a fucking flake. It's deliberate and he knows it; the evidence is in Fai's students' test results (always the highest percentile because the man is _good_ at his job and Kurogane can respect that), or in the fancy academic alphabet soup of letters that follows Fai's name. Fai acts the way he does because he wants to.

When his tea is finished brewing he brings it back to bed with him. Fai's jab had some merit; he's already planned out next week's lessons, and only two sets of his classes did homework for him, the higher sets he does sports theory with. He's already written the end of year test papers for his department, and though he still has the budget to prepare, that's not due in for another month and he needs to get an estimate from that company on the cost of the baseball equipment anyway.

Truth be told this wasn't how he imagined being an adult would be when he was a teenager. He used to see himself as an Olympic athlete like his father, coming home from training to a wife and a kid; and he's done the Olympic athlete part of that dream and is quite happy to be retired, and he finds now that he doesn't care about the wife and the kid. He likes his life the way it is, ordered and regular when that damned idiot isn't around.

Idly he wonders what it would be like to have Fai asleep next to him, how the blond would arrange himself across the mattress. From the few times Fai hasn't gotten out of bed and gone right after sex he thinks Fai would be surprisingly peaceful; he always dozes on the his belly and rarely stirs, and is blessedly free of snoring...

_Stop that,_ Kurogane tells himself sternly. It doesn't matter. Fai is a moron and a flake, and these kinds of maunderings are sentimental and ultimately pointless.

Whatever secrets Fai is hiding, the way he slept isn't one of them.

* * *

><p>"Hello," says the stranger with Fai's face, smiling pleasantly as he extends a hand to be shook. "I'm Yuui."<p>

* * *

><p>After the party Yuuko threw following the conclusion of her goddamn treasure hunt dies down, Fai offers to show Yuui to his flat; it turns out Yuuko put him in the same complex as the three of them, and had had school porters take Yuui's luggage there. Fai is bubbling with a quiet kind of excitement, different to anything else Kurogane has seen from him; and Yuui smiles at him and agrees. "Kuro-pippi-sensei is coming too," Fai announces, and Yuui nods, and Kurogane sputters and roars that Fai can't just <em>decide<em> people's activities for them, and Fai throws his arms around Yuui's neck and collapses against his brother like a wet noodle, sobbing theatrically.

"There, there," Yuui says, absently petting Fai's hair, and lifts his eyes to meet Kurogane's. He pulls a rueful, fondly exasperated face, and Kurogane finds himself rolling his eyes in sympathy at Fai's amateur dramatics.

It's strange, Kurogane thinks as they make their way across the campus - Fai walking in the middle of them with a tight grip on Yuui's elbow as he points out the buildings and babbles away in a language that isn't Japanese - that he didn't see this coming. Looking back at all the times Fai spoke of his brother there was always a certain reticence there, as though Fai was afraid to commit something to words; and seeing them in the flesh, Kurogane finds himself studying their body language, trying to understand more about _his_ blond by watching him with the other one.

Fai is angled toward Yuui, his face open as he talks, and though he has disengaged one hand to point at their surroundings the other is holding on tight, like he's half-afraid of what will happen if he lets go. Yuui has his head tilted toward Fai but his body turned in the direction they are walking, his head cocked and a studious, _serious_ expression on his face that would be utterly alien to Fai; he is wearing darker colours than Fai's pale wintry white, but his blue eyes are just as brilliant as his twin's. His hair is longer, twisted into a small tail at the nape of his neck, and just as Kurogane notices this Fai reaches over and tugs on it.

"This is new," he says, with a laugh. "What made my shy brother decide to grow his hair out like a biker~? Is he _experimenting_?"

Yuui squints at him thoughtfully for perhaps half a second, and when he speaks it is in more careful, measured Japanese; his accent is much more noticeable than Fai's. "It's a long story," he says, and smiles at Fai crookedly. "Do you have time?"

"I've always got time for Yuui," Fai announces firmly, and Yuui glances at Kurogane past his twin's face; Fai turns and tosses him a bright grin. "Kuro-curious wants to know too, see!" He reaches out and grabs Kurogane's chin, but Kurogane bats his hand away before he can do anything stupid.

"Oi, don't talk for other people," Kurogane snaps. "And it's _Kurogane_! Stop giving your brother the wrong idea!"

"Kuro-chan is very touchy," Fai says to Yuui in hushed tones, as if confiding something, and Yuui frowns at him thoughtfully.

"Forgive me," he says, "It's been many years since we lived here. My Japanese is a little bit rusty. I thought the 'chan' honorific is for young women?"

"It makes things cuter," Fai insists, "And Kuro-tan-sensei is so gruff and grumpy he needs all the cute he can get!"

"_Oi_!"

"Uwaaah, Kuro-sama is so frisky~!" Fai singsongs, giggling as he ducks Kurogane's wild swipe and flees for the trees bordering the path to the apartments; Kurogane swears under his breath and chases him, but the annoying bastard is as fast as he is obnoxious and eventually Kurogane gives up, stomping back to the path doing his best to maintain his dignity. Yuui is standing where they left him, his arms folded over his chest and his breath fogging in the night air, obviously watching their antics with a small smile on his face. It's more _real_ somehow than Fai's, and Kurogane straightens his spine and pretends not to have noticed.

"It's good that you have friends," Yuui says, as Fai slinks out of the darkness and grabs his arm again. Fai makes a happy noise of agreement.

"It's fun here," Fai says cheerfully. "Yuui will like it here too, I promise. I'm glad you came."

Yuui smiles at that, and for just a second Kurogane can see what Fai meant when he said that the two of them could still confuse people with their similarities. "It'll be a nice change of pace from managing a restaurant," Yuui agrees.

Kurogane grunts. This has been bothering him. "Why'd you give that up?" he asks, and Fai frowns at him as he always does when he thinks Kurogane's being too rude, but there's a protective edge to it this time. Well, if he was the older twin...

"It's fine, Fai," Yuui says with a laugh, obviously having noticed that expression too. "To be truthful, the restaurant was..." He pauses, groping for the right word, and then concludes, "Failing. There is more to running a restaurant than having good food, and... Well." He shrugs as if it doesn't matter, and Fai makes a sympathetic noise. "It's fine. I don't think I was a good fit for the job anyway; the previous owner left it to me. I'm looking forward to starting here. If Watanuki-kun is a good example, the students here will be quite talented."

Fai leans into him abruptly, forcing Yuui to stagger a few steps, and then rubs his face against Yuui's shoulder like a cat. "_I'm_ happy Yuui is here," he says firmly, and then, with more honesty than Kurogane has ever heard from him before, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," his twin says, smiling, and Kurogane realises Yuui's smile has subtle differences from Fai's. The way the skin at the edges of his eyes crinkles, for instance. The twins slow for a moment underneath a lamppost, the yellow light harsh on their flesh, and the way they look at each other - warm, soft, knowing - makes Kurogane feel awkwardly like an outsider.

He looks away, uncomfortable, which is of course the wrong thing to do because the next thing he knows Fai is freaking _tackling_ him, meowing like a cat as he wraps both arms enthusiastically around Kurogane's arm. "Get off," Kurogane snaps, trying frantically to shake the idiot loose. Fai just meows louder and clamps on like a vice, and Yuui chuckles softly at the sight, and no matter what he does the dumbass won't let go, clinging tight all the way to the staff apartment complex while Kurogane grits his teeth and inadvertently teaches Yuui some new Japanese curses.

"Kuro-sama isn't always this mean," Fai confides to his twin as they ascend the steep staircase, Yuui nervously checking the tag on his new house keys.

"The hell I'm not," Kurogane snaps. "You're always an idiot!"

"But Kuro-_samaaaaaaaaaa_," Fai pouts, using that whining tone that always sets Kurogane's hackles on edge, "If you were mean you wouldn't be here helping poor Yuui settle in~!"

"It's the staff apartment complex! I live here too, dumbass!"

"You don't have to stay," Yuui interrupts anxiously as they climb the final flight of stairs. He hesitates on the landing, the keys shining silvery in his long fingers. "If you have something else you would rather do, Kurogane-san... thank you for the company."

Kurogane hesitates for just a second and Fai makes a sad sniffly noise and turns the waterworks on, but he's distracted enough for Kurogane to finally wrench his arm free, which he does with a sense of relief. He shrugs as he rolls it in the socket to relieve circulation; Yuui is watching him with his head tilted to one side, his blue eyes as bright as his twin's. It seems strange, to see Fai looking so restful.

"Was he always like this?" he demands abruptly, and Yuui's face (_Fai's_ face) splits into one of those warm, totally different smiles.

"Always," he assures Kurogane. "It's not just you."

"_Yuui_," Fai complains, and Yuui laughs.

"Alright, _some_ of this is for you," he amends, and Fai beams at him.

"Yuui knows me so well," he says happily, and leeches onto Yuui's arm again. "Come on, I'll show him his apartment. What number did he get?"

"Thirty seven," Yuui says, showing Fai his keys; Fai sighs dramatically.

"You're _all the way_ down the corridor from me and Kuro-helpful," he complains. "That's so unfair."

Yuui lifts his eyebrows. "I was thousands of miles away in Italy, are you really complaining about one corridor?"

"He complains about having to get out of bed to use the espresso machine in the kitchen," Kurogane grouses, and then freezes when Yuui glances over his shoulder at him and lifts his eyebrows. He hadn't meant to mention that yet. He didn't even know if Fai was _out_ to his twin.

Fai just smiles lazily, and Yuui turns faintly pink before diverting his gaze steadfastly to the doors lining the corridor. The silence stretches out for several seconds longer than Kurogane likes it, and desperately he reaches for something to fill it. "So, apartment thirty seven?"

"Yes," Yuui replies, still not looking at him. The tips of his ears are pink, and somehow that honesty of emotion is more intriguing than Fai's sultriest bedroom eyes. Kurogane's not entirely sure Fai knows _how_ to blush.

"Your neighbours don't suck," Kurogane offers awkwardly, and that startles a _heh_ from him even as they draw level with the door. It takes him a little bit of time to fiddle with the lock, and then they have it open and step into an apartment that could be a mirror image of Kurogane's, but with even less personality.

Kurogane isn't really into interior design or anything like that. He'd kept his decorations to a minimum; his framed gold medals, a couple of practise kendo sticks on the walls, a few photographs of him with other people - his parents, the Japanese Olympics teams, his former coach - and otherwise he'd kept it as it was given to him.

Fai, on the other hand, has barely an inch left of his apartment underneath a ridiculous amount of posters. Posters for films, bands, theatre, concerts; posters of Hello Kitty's face next to some dumb American blockbuster next to a J-pop boy band, all riotous colours and clashing, poorly designed graphics. It hadn't taken Kurogane long to see that the posters were chosen to be as striking as possible rather than because of any personal attachment, because Fai's apartment was void of anything that meant anything; no photographs, no mementos. Just the posters.

Yuui's flat is a base, a canvas waiting to be filled in. His luggage - two large suitcases, still wearing airport security tags - sits in the very middle of the apartment, near the couch; he goes to check on them while Fai lets him go and begins exploring, wandering in and out of the other rooms in the apartment even though he already knows where everything was, the layout identical to his own.

"Hyuu~! Yuui, you don't have any blankets," he calls back from the bedroom, sounding faintly concerned. "Did you bring some with you?"

Yuui shakes his head, unzipping one of the suitcases, and then pauses, obviously realising Fai isn't present to see it. "No," he calls back. "I didn't think to. Is there anything still open?"

"No need," Fai says absently, emerging from the door and leaving it open behind him. "I have some spare you can borrow. Kuro-sama-sensei should help you unpack!"

"Don't tell me what to do," Kurogane snaps, although he's already on his way to help Yuui with the big suitcases. Yuui flashes him a quick, warm smile, which he ignores with as much dignity as he can. Fai laughing at him as he slips out of the apartment doesn't help.

"Thank you," Yuui says quietly once his twin is gone, laying out heaps of clothing on the couch. He jerks his chin at the other suitcase. "There's some cookware in that, if you could...?"

"Sure," Kurogane says, shortly. Yuui looks tired; it's late at night and it must have been a long flight from Italy to Japan. He tips the other suitcase over carefully and unzips it. It's full of neatly packed equipment, nothing he recognises. He begins pulling the items out, pausing uncertainly over a few particularly odd ones.

"Kurogane-san," Yuui says softly, and he glances over sharply. Yuui is fastidiously refolding some corner of a white uniform. "I... I just wanted to say thank you. Without Fai around, that is."

"For what?" Kurogane asks suspiciously, and Yuui smiles again, his eyes warm.

"For taking care of Fai," he says. "He can be difficult, I know that, but he's happy here. He wasn't when he first moved. So, thank you."

Kurogane huffs and glances away, pulling out a few more esoteric items, including a handheld blowtorch that momentarily has him crook an eyebrow. "I didn't do anything," he says gruffly, straightening with his arms full of Yuui's belongings, and the new arrival doesn't look up at him.

"I don't think you had to," he says softly. "You were enough just by being you."

Kurogane hesitates, still standing there with Yuui's weird (and sharp, _ow_) cooking junk in his arms, and then blurts, "Look, about him and me -"

"Fai likes men, Kurogane-san," Yuui interrupts gently. "I already knew that. And he already told me he was..." he pauses, groping for the right word, and Kurogane watches that colour course through the shells of his ears again. Compared to Fai's shamelessness Yuui's sensitivity feels more suitable to the Japanese culture Kurogane grew up in. "He already told me he was _with_ you," Yuui settles on.

"Does that bother you?" Kurogane asks quietly. He wants to know if he'd going to have to deal with a jealous brother or an unhappy family member, and to his relief Yuui cuts him an amused glance and shakes his head. "Okay. Good."

He's turning to go shove Yuui's gear in the kitchen when the man himself pipes up, abruptly, "Kurogane-san?"

It's _weird_ hearing his full name in that voice. "Yeah?"

If Yuui was flushed before, now his face is positively on fire. He seems to be having trouble meeting Kurogane's gaze. "If... if it's alright with you," he says, very slowly and carefully, "I'd. I'd like to get to know you a bit more. Since Fai likes you so much."

Kurogane stares. This is not quite what he expected.

_But didn't you want some normalcy with Fai?_ whispers the voice at the back of his mind. It sounds faintly mocking. _Something more than sex? What's more normal than meeting the family?_

"Uh," he says intelligently, at which point Fai shoves the door open, buried under a huge heap of blankets. Yuui stares at him, aghast, and he totters over and dumps them on the couch on top of Yuui's freshly folded clothes.

"There," he says, with some satisfaction.

"Fai - it's not..." Yuui pokes at the mountain of sheets and covers, looking faintly concerned. "It's not going to be cold enough that I'll need all these, surely?"

"You never know," Fai replies judiciously. "I didn't want Yuui's first night in Japan to be spent all cold. You could catch a fever!"

Yuui raises an eyebrow. "That doesn't actually happen," he points out dryly.

"I'm a scientist. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about," Fai says airily, which makes Kurogane snort in indignation; Fai spins on his heels and gives Kurogane a sparkling megawatt smile.

"Right," Yuui says with amusement carried in his voice. He sighs and stands up, awkwardly and hissing at stiff knees; Fai is immediately hovering by his side. Yuui ignores him, scooping up the blankets, and then pauses, looking surprised, and tentatively sniffs them. "Is this...?"

"Yes," Fai replies immediately. He grins. "It's the detergent from home. Ashura sends me supplies, I don't like the stuff you can buy here."

"Oh, Fai." Yuui adjusts the heap of bedding and reaches over, cupping the back of his brother's neck in one hand, and tugs him down so that they stand for a moment, noses and foreheads pressed against each other. Fai's pale eyelashes sweep across his cheeks as he lowers his gaze, and from this angle they look even more identical than Kurogane had thought. It's weird, but oddly pleasant to look at.

_No,_ he thinks of himself, aghast. Identical twins aren't interchangeable and it's not right for him to think that about the new arrival _Yuui_. He should know better than that. He turns away rather quickly, risking one last look over this shoulder at the twins standing there, perfectly still and silent, seemingly lost in each other's company; then he heads into the kitchen as quietly as he can.

Yuui isn't the only one flushed, he discovers as he crouches down to shove things into the cupboards.

* * *

><p>He's in his office three days later when he hears a scrabbling at the window, and with a disgusted sigh he throws his pen down across the stack of essays gathering on the edge of his desk and leans back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest as he watches his guest slide the panes up and then eel neatly over the frame.<p>

"Kurogane-sensei~!" she purrs, perched there on the windowsill with her short skirt somehow managing to cover everything necessary. "I see you're not busy, perfect!"

He twitches despite himself. "I _was_ doing my job," he growls, but she dismisses this with an airy hand wave. "The hell do you want, witch?"

Yuuko claps her hands together happily, and the light in her eyes makes him suddenly nervous. He's a trained martial artist, an expert in five disciplines and a former world champion (and would be reigning, if he hadn't retired) in kendo, and the sight of that smug curve to her mouth still makes his stomach clench in terror.

"What is it," Kurogane asks again, only this time he sounds much less confident than he'd like. From Yuuko's shark-like grin, that's been noted.

"It's Yuui-sensei," she says sweetly, and he tenses despite himself; she's already corrupted one twin (not that she needed to make him that way, Fai always was plenty willing to indulge in her stupid at her side). "As you no doubt know, all staff are required to undergo a health assessment by the school nurse!"

"Yeah?" he replies cagily, drawing the word out. He doesn't see what that has to do with him.

"Seishirou-san says he's free to do the assessment during fifth period, and I know Yuui-sensei has a free lesson then, buuuut..." She leans forward, her breasts pushing at the astonishingly low-cut sweater she's wearing out of some misplaced deference to the cold, and smiles at him sharply. "Yuui-sensei is so new to this school," she says. "It'd be a terrible shame if he got lost. I'm sure a more... senior teacher who just so happens to have fifth period off as well could show him the way. I'd hate for him to miss out on his... mandatory... assessment. It'd be terrible to expose the students to any infectious European illnesses."

"Infectious - what."

Yuuko's eyes light up. "But of course! The Spanish 'flu... the Black Death... Europe is just a hive of pestilence! As Yuui's new, _devoted_ employer I'd be remiss not to have him seen to by a specialist -"

"You mean the pervert with the stethoscope," Kurogane interjects, and she dismisses him with another hand wave.

"I mean Holitsuba's own _devoted medical professional_ whose care and concern for the students' wellbeing is second, I'm sure, to none. Besides," she shrugged. "Food hygiene."

Kurogane scowls. "You said 'devoted' twice."

"Really, Kurogane," Yuuko pouts. "You choose the strangest things to fixate on. Now get going! You've got ten minutes to make it to Yuui's classroom before the bells go."

Kurogane hesitates for just a moment, torn between furiously rejecting this order - the latest in a long line of busywork - or accepting. He _does_ have to deal with these essays before tomorrow, because he promised his top set that he'd have their papers back to them by tomorrow's afternoon class, and he doesn't want to be working on them at home if he can help it... but neither can he reasonably abandon Yuui to the 'care' of Seishirou. "Fine," he growls, pushing his chair back from his desk and grabbing his jacket from its peg. Yuuko beams at him and waves goodbye, waggling her fingers, and he snarls and points at her. "_Don't_ steal my tea while I'm gone!"

"Kurogane is so suspicious," she says, giving a heaving sigh, and he glares at her before reluctantly departing.

The home economics classrooms are located in a block in a building near the gym. By the time Kurogane gets there, Yuui's class is washing up; aprons are being hung on hooks, book bags collected from underneath chairs and tables, sweet substances are being carefully stored into tupperware and brought up to Yuui's desk at the front of the room. Yuui himself is in spotless white, a high-collared chef's uniform buttoned up along the side, and his hair is carefully swept away from his face and pinned back. He's wearing round glasses that make him look younger than he really is.

"Kurogane-sensei," he says in surprise when Kurogane shoulders his way in through all the (suddenly curious) students, and don't they have anything better to do anyway? He glares at a couple of them, who abruptly find something fascinating in the ceiling and floor tiles. Except for the Li twin with all the attitude, Syaoron; he's too busy making unsubtle calf-eyes at Yuui to notice.

"Chairman wants you to go for a medical examination next lesson," he grunts. "She asked me to show you the way."

"Oh." Yuui pauses, and then flashes him a flicker-fast smile. "Well, if she insists. Watanuki-kun, you need to write your name on this, please."

Watanuki takes his tupperware back and bends over it, spelling out his name in even, neat kanji. "Here you go sensei," he says, and hesitates, glancing up and Kurogane and then back to Yuui, who is making a note of the results in his register. "Um, sensei?"

"Yes?" Yuui says without looking up.

"The school nurse can be a bit..."

Now Yuui does lift his head, making eye contact with Watanuki and looking somewhat surprised. "A bit what, Watanuki-kun?"

The kid freezes, obviously torn between his wish to warn Yuui of the terrors of the nurse's office and a cultural desire not to be so crass as to come out and actually say what's wrong with Seishirou, so Kurogane snorts and says, "He's weird. Don't worry about it, you'll be fine."

_Because I'm not leaving you alone with him,_ he doesn't add, but Watanuki nods gratefully and vanishes back to his seat. Doumeki, Kurogane's best archer, says something to him that makes him freak out with rage, and Yuui frowns at them faintly.

Before he can say anything the bells sound through the announcement system, and he waits for them to finish before clapping his hands together loudly. His kids quieten down, watching him from their sprawl across the desk, and he smiles at them with genuine pride. "Alright everyone," he says. "Really good work today. Come see me after school to get your ice cream back once it's set, okay? Now shoo, don't be late for your next class! I'll see you all after school."

He's met with a chorus of 'bye, sensei's as the kids file out of the room, and Kurogane leans on his desk and watches as Yuui brings the ice cream to the freezer unit in his office, carefully balancing the containers on top of each other. "Ice cream, huh?" he says. "I thought you were an Italian chef."

"I specialise _in_ Italian food, yes," Yuui replies, closing the freezer door. "I started out making desserts for Fai and I back home."

Kurogane frowns, watching as Yuui unfastens his chef outfit to reveal a perfectly ordinary dress shirt beneath it; he grabs a suit jacket from the back of his office door. "Home being where?"

"Fai didn't tell you?" Yuui looks startled and when Kurogane nods, bites his lower lip. "Honestly, sometimes I wonder... we're Icelandic, Kurogane-san."

Kurogane keeps his face blank, and Yuui sighs and wraps one arm around his torso. "Fai doesn't talk about a lot of things."

"I know," Yuui says. "I'd hoped..."

He pauses with one hand on the doorknob and then huffs out a long breath and shakes his head. "It doesn't matter," he says quietly, although obviously it does, and closes the door softly behind him. "Shall we go?"

Seishirou's office is near the student information centre, tucked around the bottom floor of the science block. It isn't far to go - around the gym and through the humanities wing - but it feels longer with Yuui walking quietly at his side, arms wrapped around his chest and blond hair shining in the pale wintry sunlight. Maybe it's because Kurogane associates that face and body with Fai, and his instincts are yelling at him to watch out for a surprise tackle-hug.

"Must be weird," he says awkwardly as they head through the Japanese literature classrooms; bored students watch them idly through the glass windows that make up the inner wall. There's something strange about walking a school corridor while the students are in class, something hushed and secret, reverence for education. Yuui glances at him with a curious look on his face. "Going from running a restaurant to teaching, I mean."

"Not really," Yuui says. "I had to train a couple of new chefs. This is like that, but on a greater scale."

Kurogane digests this, and nods. Yuui would be the judge of that. "Why Japan?" he blurts instead, and hesitates. His mother would have so many things to say about his lack of manners; Yuui is looking at him with his head tilted and a quirk to the line of his mouth that speaks of amusement. "I mean... why did you and your idiot brother pick Japan? It's a long way away from Iceland, right?"

Yuui looks away as they pass an English classroom, Syaoron standing up before the interactive white board gesticulating in the midst of some presentation. Kurogane's pretty sure the weird, spidery English words on the board behind him spell out _Hello, my name is_. "We were born in Japan," he says. "We moved back to Iceland when we were eight. We still remembered some of the language, though."

That would explain their decent Japanese, Kurogane decides. Normally blonds like these two can't manage more than _farewell_ or, even more insultingly, _ni hao_.

Seishirou is sitting at his chair filling in forms when Kurogane rather abruptly shoves his door open; he spins around and adjusts his glasses, and smiles at them coolly. "Kurogane-sensei, how can I help you?"

Kurogane stands aside to let Yuui squeeze past. "Chairman wanted a health assessment for this one."

"Oh, of course." Seishirou climbs to his feet and crosses the office to a desk, sliding open a drawer and pulling out a blood pressure cuff and a number of instruments wrapped in plastic; Yuui quietly shifts an inch or two closer to Kurogane, seemingly without being aware of it.

"I've already had all my vaccines, Seishirou-san," he says nervously, and Seishirou shoots him a perfectly calm, perfectly friendly smile that manages to put Kurogane's hackles up.

"I'm sure you have," Seishirou says. "Could you climb up on the bed and fill in this survey, please?" He hands Yuui a piece of paper on a clipboard, and Yuui unclips the pen, frowns at the questions, and then climbs awkwardly up on the nurse's station gurney. He's a tall man, like his twin, but it's been raised high enough his feet are a few inches off the ground. Kurogane folds his arms and leans against the wall near the door; Seishirou frowns at him and says, in a faintly patronising tone, "Don't you have some classes to be getting on with, Kurogane-sensei?"

"No he doesn't," Yuui says, and glances up over the clipboard to flash Kurogane a wink. The sounds of the pen against the paper as he ticked off whatever answers were on it seems oddly loud in the small confines of the office. "There."

"Excellent," Seishirou replies politely, taking the clipboard and turning to put it back on the desk, "Now please strip your shirt off for me."

"Um," Yuui says uncertainly. Kurogane scowls, but Seishirou turns back with the blood pressure cuff in one hand and the stethoscope in the other, and after exchanging mutually concerned gazes again, Yuui shrugs off the suit jacket and begins to unbutton his shirt.

Kurogane's not sure what to expect; _identical_ he assumes, and _pale_. He's mostly right - with his shirt off there are a lot of similarities there, the shockingly fish-belly whiteness of skin rarely exposed to sunlight, the flat stomach, the trim hips. The little line of dusty blond hair headed south from Yuui's belly button, even the stark lines of his collarbones and the pinkness of his nipples; these things are the same.

The huge sweeping black tattoo across his back is definitely unique.

Kurogane's aware he grunts in surprise as the last of the shirt's fabric rasps across his skin, to be bundled up and held in Yuui's lap; it's just he's used to _Fai_, who treats his body like a temple (if said temple was dedicated to a god or goddess of consuming your weight in sugar daily). The strong thick lines of the tattoo are very brazen, sharply contrasted against the paleness of the rest of him; its edges wind their lazy way along his ribs and over his shoulder, and he had _never_ suspected Yuui to be the type to get such a marking -

"I was drunk," Yuui says, calmly, and he suddenly becomes aware the blond is watching him with a small smile on his face. "We both were, actually. Drunk and young. Fai dared me to have this done and the tattoo artist turned me down because I was drunk, but I liked the idea and came back when I was less drunk."

"What's it of?" Kurogane asks, unable to look away from those (blue, _blue_) eyes, and Yuui twists to glance back over his shoulder and shrugs.

"I don't know. A phoenix, I think. He found in a big book of designs he had,"

"It's not bad," Kurogane admits, and a smile plays around Yuui's mouth as he holds his arm out for Seishirou to fasten the cuff around.

"Thank you. That's very kind of you," he says, and Kurogane has the sense that he's being gently made fun of; not the overt mocking he could expect from Fai but something more low-key. More subtle. He flushes and cuts his gaze away, embarrassed by the look in those eyes.

They don't talk as Seishirou measures and notes down Yuui's blood pressure, but they keep glancing at each other, Kurogane with that faint sense of embarrassment, Yuui with that absent amusement. Seishirou stows away the cuff and hums absently to himself as he reaches inside a drawer; when he pulls out a pair of rubber gloves Yuui shifts nervously and raises his bundled-up shirt to cover his belly.

"I'm just going to listen to your heartbeat," he says cheerfully, sticking the stethoscope in his ears, and Yuui swallows and nods as the nurse comes closer, setting one white-gloved hand on Yuui's shoulder and pressing the stethoscope's cup to Yuui's chest, angling his wrist so he can see his watch.

Kurogane counts several minutes off, torn between glaring at Seishirou and the clock on the wall, before he clears his throat deliberately and the nurse leans back. "Are you done?" he demands.

"Oh, almost. Turn around, please."

"Um," Yuui says. "How long is this supposed to take?"

"A while longer." Seishirou's smile has sharp teeth. "I must compliment you, Fluorite-sensei; you must have a wonderful skincare routine." He drags one gloved finger delicately around Yuui's pectorals, his eyebrow raising; Yuui jerks away from him instinctively. "Why, you could almost give Subaru-kun a run for his money..."

"I - I - I need to be... somewhere," Yuui says weakly. "Somewhere... else. Can we finish up? Now, please?"

Seishirou frowns at him and inches closer, sliding the cup of the stethoscope along Yuui's ribs and around his chest to his back. "But of course," he says mildly. "Just one more thing after this and we'll be quite finished. Inhale, please."

Kurogane keeps a closer eye on the clock this time, although he can't help but notice the way Seishirou moves his thumb on Yuui's collarbone, stroking along the harsh line of the tattoo; he growls warningly under his breath and the school nurse stops. After a minute he stops and sits back, smiling his charming (disturbing) smile. "Well, everything there appears to be functioning perfectly," he says. "Just that one more thing..."

He slides his chair back toward his desk, and Yuui lets out a visible breath and casts Kurogane a rather pleading glance. Kurogane shrugs mutely in response; _Yes, he's always like this. Bear with it._

"Here," Seishirou announces, straightening up from his desk drawer with a paper cup in his hand. "I'll need a urine sample too," and Kurogane has had enough.

"Go to hell," he says curtly, and steps forward. "Put your shirt back on."

Yuui doesn't need to be told twice; Seishirou sighs heavily and leans back in his chair, putting the end of his ballpoint pen between his teeth and biting down as he eyes Kurogane. "I hadn't even gotten to the blood samples yet," he complains. "I question your commitment to safeguarding student health, Kurogane-sensei."

"You're a creep," Kurogane growls. "Stay where the hell you are."

Seishirou shrugs calmly as Yuui grabs his suit jacket and throws it on before making a dash toward the door, and Kurogane makes sure to keep up his death glare as he wrenches it open and follows the new teacher. Yuui has come to a stop a few feet down the corridor, watching Kurogane worriedly.

"Where did the Chairwoman find _him_?" he hisses when Kurogane draws level with him. "In a prison?"

Kurogane shrugs. "I don't know," he says, shortly. "Uh. Your tie is crooked."

"It is?" Yuui glances along the corridor, no doubt searching for a convenient bathroom; when that fails he stalks his way over to a framed example of student art and tries to use his reflection in the glass to straighten his tie. Kurogane reluctantly follows him. The collar of the suit jacket is off, too, and although it's not enough to see the tattoo he can't stop thinking about it.

Yuui struggles with his tie for a few more seconds before growling in defeat and letting it drop; Kurogane sighs and reaches out before he can stop himself, wrapping his hands around the strips of silk. "Hold still," he growls, and stoops his head down as his hands work, knotting it quietly. That done he fixes Yuui's collar and suit jacket only to realise Yuui is staring at him incredulously, and lets his hands fall away, fighting down an instinctive blush in his cheeks and ears.

"Kurogane-sensei...?"

"Your brother. Um. Never dresses right," he says vaguely.

Yuui laughs at this, and Kurogane pauses, watching as the faint lines around his mouth and eyes - that Seishirou must have put there, and how hadn't he noticed them forming? - fade away. "I'm not surprised," Yuui says, and Kurogane gives him a small grin, barely more than the corner of his mouth edging up. "Thank you."

"It's _fine,_" Kurogane says quickly. He can feel that stupid flush building up again, so he half-turns away. "Listen, I have essays I need to get back to grading..."

"Oh!" Yuui shakes his head quickly and glances away. "I... of course. Thank you. Um... if you like..."

"What?" Kurogane asks curiously when Yuui trails off, and the blond sighs heavily.

"I made some ice cream earlier to show the kids how it's done. If you like I could bring some over..."

"I don't like sweet things," Kurogane says, and then feels oddly guilty when Yuui's face falls. "But... if you make something non-sweet some other time... I wouldn't say no."

Yuui flashes him a quick, mischievous grin that has an awful lot in common with Fai. "Okay," he says, his grin widening. "Okay. I'll keep that in mind. I'll just... I'll be seeing you, then."

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"... I don't know how to get back to my classroom."

"Oh. Right. I'll uh, show you."

He takes Yuui back to his classroom the long way, rather than the way they took to get here in the first place, and this time he can't stop looking at the pristine collar of Yuui's jacket and shirt and thinking of the tattoo.

And he wonders in what other ways Yuui differs from Fai.

_-tbc_


	2. And fortune comes in threes

Second installment of Shenanigans at Holitsuba High (really, that should have been the title I gave it). Still not safe for work, but marginally more serious now!

**Rating:** Hard R.  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> Kurogane x Yuui, Kurogane x Fai, hints of numerous other pairings.  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Merry Christmas, Shacha! Love, Santa.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> this fic contains mentions of incest and Seishirou being a disturbing creeper (well, when is he not).

* * *

><p><strong>Leave my thoughts behind<strong>

Soon i'll have the courage  
>To leave my thoughts behind<br>I'll give back all the knowledge  
>And keep the wisdom precious in my mind<br>-_Massive Attack, 'Three'_

He's back in his office after hours again, grading the last paper of the lot, when the window unceremoniously slides open and he wearily looks up. This time the moron who vaults over the windowsill wears a white lab coat, messy blond hair, and a smile that could eclipse the sun.

"It's you," he says, tired.

"It's me," Fai agrees cheerfully.

Kurogane slides open one of his desk drawers and pulls out a bar of chocolate he'd confiscated from one of his students, tossing it absently across the room. Fai catches it perfectly and turns it over in his hands, his whole face lighting up as he realizes what it is.

"A Kit-Kat bar? Oh, Kuro-sama-sensei spoils me," he trills.

"I _am_ trying to work here," Kurogane growls.

Fai pouts at him, advancing on the desk; Kurogane cradles his forehead in his hand and bends his head to the essay. "Why didn't Kuro-lazy do his work during his free period like he normally does?"

"I was busy," Kurogane says.

"Doing what?"

"That witch wanted me to take your brother to the _other_ moron in this school who wears a lab coat."

Fai climbs onto the edge of the desk and proceeds to unwrap the chocolate bar loudly, casually dropping the paper packaging on top of the stack of essays Kurogane has already graded. "How was Yuui?"

"Fine."

"Kuro-_surly_..."

"Fine, okay? Fuck's sake."

There's a little _crunch_ as Fai carefully snaps off one of the bars and bites into it hard, and then says, around a mouthful of Kit-Kat, "Did Kuro-sama see his tattoo?"

Kurogane doesn't say anything, but he rather thinks the sudden rush of heat to his face might give him away. He bends studiously over the paper.

"Kuro-red does know that the back of his neck blushes when he does," Fai comments.

"Yes!" Kurogane snaps, glaring at the blond (his blond?). "Yes, I saw it. What do you want from me?"

"Well," Fai says, "It's been a long day, and I would really like Kuro-cranky to fuck me." Kurogane sputters; Fai breaks off another piece of confiscated chocolate. "But he's busy, so I want to make small talk to keep from being bored until he's _not_ busy."

"Idiot," Kurogane growls.

"Of course," Fai replies, unconcerned, and _crunch crunch crunch_ the Kit-Kat is gone. "Does Kuro-slow like Yuui?"

"He's fine. Less stupid than you," Kurogane says, but there's something off to the way he cuts his gaze away, his hesitance to meet blue eyes... Fai licks chocolate residue off his fingers and narrows his eyes thoughtfully, and then he smiles. If Kurogane were paying attention, he'd be worried by that smile.

"I've changed my mind," he says. "I don't want you to fuck me. I want to suck you off."

Kurogane marks the last paper rather quickly.

* * *

><p>It's another day, another lunch time, and Kurogane is making his way to to the chemistry labs because his office smells faintly like sweaty socks and he'd rather put up with Fai's dumbassery than eat his lunch in an office that smells like athlete's foot.<p>

Fai is setting his lab up for a practical with the aid of Subaru - the lab tech who looks like he should still be a student here himself - when Kurogane pushes the door open; he raises a hand in greeting and resumes plugging bunsen burners into gas taps one at a time from a large plastic crate, checking to see whether or not they function correctly. Subaru is doing circuits of the lab with a box of plastic safety goggles, setting them out before the students' chairs. "Oi," Kurogane says by way of greeting.

"Sit down and don't touch anything, Kuro-jock-strap," Fai says absently, lighting another match and applying it to the top of the bunsen burner; it bursts into a foot-long plume of roaring blue flame. Kurogane obeys, although he makes a note to confront the idiot about _jock strap_ when he's not literally playing with fire.

"That's all the goggles, tripods and safety mats," Subaru says, putting the box on the side; the leftover goggles rattle inside it. "I've got the equipment out for the thermite demonstration but I'd keep it in the stockroom until show time if I were you."

"Thank you, Subaru-kun," Fai says calmly. "You should go get some lunch. You need to eat more."

They flash each other quick smiles of mutual respect, and then Subaru quietly backs out of the lab and pushes open the door to the murky recession of the chemistry technician's office. Kurogane unwraps his onigiri and takes a large bite; for a while there's no sound but the roar of bunsen burner flames, the _schtrick_ of matches being struck and his own chewing.

"Kuro-rice should make sure he doesn't drop so much as a crumb," Fai says without taking his eyes off what he's doing. "I give the students detentions for chewing gum in here, I'd hate to be thought a hypocrite."

"Yeah yeah," Kurogane says, cautiously grabbing a blank piece of paper and sticking it underneath him on the desk as he chews. "So what's this thermite thing?"

"Very hot fireworks," Fai says absently. "The kids love it. It's very explosive. I'm taking them out to the playground before I let it go."

Kurogane raises an eyebrow. He's not sure he'd trust Fai with normal fireworks, let alone 'very hot' ones, but the Chairwoman obviously approved the syllabus and he's no chemist so he keeps quiet. He packed the onigiri himself and they're not very good; it's a chore to munch his way through them.

He's just about finished the first one off when there's a cautious rap at the door; they both turn, Fai and Kurogane, to see Yuui standing in the open doorway. He's still wearing his apron, although he's let his hair down, and he looks suddenly nervous and unsure. "Hi," he says, giving Kurogane a small wave. Kurogane responds with a grunt and a nod of his head.

"Yuui~!" Fai says, grinning, and Yuui smiles back and pushes away from the door. He wanders idly through the long tables, peering at the equipment laid out for the students.

"What are you doing with them next?"

"Thermite demonstration," Fai says.

"What, in here?" Yuui sounds faintly alarmed. "Last time you told me you destroyed a table. And a bucket of sand."

Fai's teeth flash in his grin; they are on opposites sides of the classroom, dressed in radically different workplace whites. "No. I'm doing a demonstration outside, and then they're coming back and doing something boring with magnesium."

"As long as you're honest," Yuui says, smiling crookedly. He wanders up to the teacher's desk on its raised dias and then pauses; Kurogane hesitates with his second onigiri in his hand. Yuui smiles at him nervously, reaching up to tuck his hair away from his face. "Did you make those yourself, Kurogane-san?"

Kurogane grunts. "Yeah."

Yuui bites his lip, looking like he wants to comment, but doesn't; Kurogane eventually has enough of his dithering and says, "Cooking isn't my thing."

"He's dreadful," Fai helpfully adds, and Kurogane growls at him to no effect.

"Um," Yuui says, his hands fluttering together. "Um, if you like I... I make lunches for myself and Fai too, to stop him eating sugar out the bag... I could make you some too?"

For a moment Kurogane thinks he must have misheard; then he immediately thinks of Watanuki, who he passes every morning on his way to school waiting patiently at the corner of the girl's student housing complex with a carefully packed extra bento, waiting for Himawari. He carefully lowers the plain (overcooked) rice ball in his hand. Yuui's face is faintly pink.

"Sure," he says. "If you want."

Yuui flashes him a shy smile. "Okay," he says. "Okay."

Over his shoulder, Fai smiles quietly and sparks another match, and another bunsen burner flame whooshes to life. The sound makes Yuui whirl away from Kurogane, smoothing his hands down the front of his apron.

"I got in contact with that restaurant downtown, Fai," he says. "I got us a seven-thirty booking, since you said -"

Fai drops the matchbox and theatrically claps both hands to the top of his head. "Seven-thirty? Oh, Yuui, I -"

"I can reschedule," Yuui offers.

"What, again?" Fai shoots him a scandalized look. "I've made you miss three bookings already, Yuui!"

"It's not your fault," his twin replies, laughing, and Fai frowns and pads up to the raised teacher's desk from the other side, leaning against it with his arms folded. The collar of his lab coat sticks up and covers his throat. He studies Yuui fiercely, his eyes narrowed; Kurogane continues chewing his way through the unappetising self-made rice ball. "Take Kuro-bad cook," he says.

"What?" Yuui says.

"The hell?" Kurogane demands.

Fai pushes himself off the desk, clapping his hands together. "It's perfect!" he enthuses. "Kuro-useless didn't have any plans tonight except laying around in his underwear watching samurai films -"

"I have _never_ -"

"- And Yuui wants to go out but can't go by himself because only nerds and serial killers eat at restaurants by themselves!"

Yuui raises an eyebrow.

"I'm just saying it's perfect," Fai continues. "Kuro-tan, really, what else do you have planned?"

Kurogane gestures uncertainly, and Fai gives him a smug _I knew it_ expression. "I hate you," Kurogane growls.

"No you don't," Fai replies airily. "Well, not all the time, anyway. Remember, seven-thirty! Dress nice."

"I don't even know what kind of restaurant it is!" Kurogane snaps, and Yuui clears his throat discretely.

"It's um, the brand new Italian place," he says.

Kurogane glances at him sidelong and then sighs heavily. "_Fine,_" he says, and Yuui gives him a small shy smile. It's uncertain and oddly sweet. "You got my cell phone number?"

Yuui shakes his head, so he tears a corner off the (greasy) paper he had used to catch errant bits of onigiri and writes it down in thick red teacher's ballpoint, and Yuui takes it very carefully by the edges before folding it gently and slipping it into the breast pocket of his apron, and Kuro tosses away the rest of his lunch and stands up with as much dignity as he can.

"I'm going back to my office," he says.

"Have fun, don't die," Fai says, heading back to his bunsen burners.

"I... I'll see you later," Yuui says, carefully avoiding eye contact, and Kurogane grunts and leaves and lets the door close behind him, and as he jogs down the plain science block staircase he wonders what the hell he's gotten himself into.

Damn _twins_.

* * *

><p>"So, the black one?"<p>

"... Yeah, I guess."

"With the white shirt, of course. The one from Ralph Lauren that your father and I bought you -"

"Mom, I know how to dress myself."

"I know, darling. I know. It's just, you haven't had that many dates before -"

"I'm a grown man. I know what I'm doing."

His mother laughs, her voice tinny down the phone lines. "I'm not saying you don't, sweetheart. I just think -"

"Wait, what do you mean 'you haven't had that many dates before'? This isn't a date."

"Of course it isn't -"

"No, this really isn't a date, you don't understand -"

"Sssh, Kurogane. It's alright. You don't have to say anything."

"..."

"Your father says to remind you red suits you. Do you still have the cummerbund and tie...?"

"This. Is _not_. A date."

"Of course it's not, sweetie. But you should wear the red with that suit regardless."

"..."

"So are you coming home for the school holidays?"

"I - I. I have to go. Now."

A chuckle. "Very well, darling. Remember to be _nice_."

"I'm always nice," Kurogane growls darkly, and hangs up quickly before his mother can refute that.

* * *

><p>It's raining when Kurogane's cab pulls in at the kerb, but Yuui is already there, standing quietly down the road from the restaurant in a black trench coat holding a blue umbrella above him. When he sees Kurogane through the window of the car he smiles, and it makes his eyes shine like the glistening raindrops beading fat on the umbrella's surface; he makes his way over to the kerb and holds the umbrella out a little bit as Kurogane climbs out.<p>

"It's quarter past seven," Kurogane says, frowning at him.

"I didn't want to be late," Yuui replies.

He steps to one side as Kurogane unfurls his own umbrella, a black monstrosity with a curved handle that Fai had given him for his birthday one year (along with a fleshlight and a bottle of lube, because Fai is _insane_). Underneath the trench coat, Yuui is wearing a black suit and a white shirt, but his tie is blue; blue as his eyes, and for some reason Kurogane feels that stupid fucking _flush_ rising in his face and has to look away. "We should get moving," he says.

"Of course," Yuui murmurs, and when Kurogane glances back at him his eyes are swept down. He glances up long enough to make eye contact and smiles at Kurogane briefly before turning and pointing at the restaurant in question further up the street; it looks expensive.

"How did you get reservations for this place so quick?" Kurogane asks, scowling. They are trying to walk in sync but the sidewalk isn't really wide enough for two tall men with umbrellas to walk side by side, and eventually Yuui dips his and folds it back up, fastening the strap around his wrist and stepping closer to Kurogane to shelter under his wider umbrella.

"The head chef went to school with me in Florence," he says.

Kurogane quirks an eyebrow. "Really?" he says. "Isn't that cheating?"

"I suppose," Yuui concedes, but he's smiling. "She's the reason I let my hair grow out. The chef who trained us was... not very fond of women, I don't know what the term is in Japanese -"

"Sexist," Kurogane offers, and Yuui shoots him a quick grateful smile.

"He was always yelling at her about her hair, even though she tied it back and wore a cap over it. So, I decided to grow mine out in solidarity."

"Tch. I'm not surprised," Kurogane says, and Yuui flushes briefly. "Seems like the kind of thing you'd do."

"Fai would have done the same thing," Yuui says quietly as they step inside, and a woman steps up to greet them. She takes their coats and guides them to their seats, and Kurogane doesn't say anything as she takes their drink orders - wine for Yuui, and then wine for Kurogane too after Yuui persuades him to order something other than sake - and leaves them alone with their menus.

"Fai wouldn't do the same thing," Kurogane says. "Your idiot brother would go yell at your teacher, or whatever."

Yuui tilts his head to one side. "We're not _that_ different -"

"Yes, you are."

A pause. Yuui toys with the cuffs of his jacket and doesn't meet Kurogane's eyes; he knows Kurogane speaks the truth. Their server materialises with a wine bottle and a corkscrew, and Kurogane watches her as she pours them both sparkling glasses of white wine. Yuui thanks her with a smile and a nod and she curtseys and then leaves as Yuui delicately lifts his glass and takes a sip; his face softens with pleasure.

"It's good," he says. "Try some."

Kurogane does. It doesn't suck. He's not a wine taster and he rejects the kind of pompous waffle about _bouquet_ and so on and so forth, but it's decent enough wine, and the way Yuui smiles at him over the tabletop is pleasant.

"So why did you give up the piano?" he asks, because it's either that or _you look good in that outfit_, and Yuui blinks and surprise and puts his wine glass down.

"Fai told you I played?"

"Indirectly."

"Oh." Yuui grins at him crookedly. "I see. Yes, I used to play. So did our mother. Fai wasn't really interested, but he liked to be around while I played, so..."

Quietly he draws his fingertip across the menu spread out before him, tracing the word _appetisers_.

"The thing is, Kurogane-san, I don't... I don't know how much you know about us. You didn't know we were Icelandic, I'm not -"

"Assume basically nothing," Kurogane interrupts, and watches the way Yuui's mouth tightens.

"Our father was a university lecturer who came to Tokyo on an exchange. Our mother was an heiress. We were born here, and our parents decided to send us to school publically so that we would grow up knowing the language." His hands drifted down across the menu, the tasteful names of the dishes in Italian and Japanese. "Our mother was diagnosed with cancer when we were five. She lasted two years, despite all that medicine could do.

"After she died our father stopped... caring. He would just sit at home on the sofa, skipping out of work and not making us go to school, and he drank, and he cried. And eventually a friend of his from home came to see him, because he was worried; and he saw how bad it was and made father go see a psychiatrist, and we went back to Iceland with him."

"Ashura," Kurogane says quietly, and Yuui glances up in surprise. "Fai said Ashura sometimes mails him stuff from home."

Yuui smiles. "Yes. We weren't meant to stay with him permanently, just until father got back on his feet; but... he didn't. After we'd been living with Ashura for two years he and my father applied for him to formally adopt us. I played the piano for years because it was my way of keeping hold of my mother, do you see?"

Kurogane doesn't see, so he shakes his head. "Both my parents are alive," he says shortly. "Mom's a journalist, dad's a police officer. Runs a dojo miles away from here when he's not working."

He's never told Fai that, he realizes, and it's a strange feeling. Is Fai so uninformative because Kurogane is? Or is it vice versa?

"That sounds nice," Yuui says softly. There's a wistful light in his eyes. "Do you speak to them regularly?"

Kurogane grunts. He's wearing the red tie and cummerbund.

"Why'd you start cooking?" he asks, because he'd really rather not go into _that_.

Yuui grins at him mischievously; it's Fai's grin, the naughty one that requires co-conspirators. "Ashura used to give us pocket money. Just a little bit, to spend on ourselves, for video games, comic books, sweets and so on. Fai worked out very quickly that for one small sweet that would last him perhaps fifteen minutes, he could buy a bag of sugar and eat that with a spoon for the same price."

"... I'm not surprised," Kurogane says again, although he is faintly appalled. He'd thought Yuui had been joking.

Yuui laughs at the expression on his face. "I started baking treats to try and save his teeth," he says. "I liked it, so I learned how to make more things."

"And then you turned professional, huh?"

"Something like that," Yuui agrees. Their server approaches, a big smile on her face and the menu under her arm, and asks if they're ready to order; Kurogane notices how she turns to him first, and speaks slower and more carefully when she's speaking to Yuui. He hadn't even checked the menu, too busy talking, and he does so while Yuui orders, curling his tongue slowly around the Italian dish names in a way that makes Kurogane feel oddly alert.

"I recommend the 'Casseruola alla fiorentina.' It was the signature dish of the head chef when I knew her," he says, and Kurogane grunts.

"What's in it?" he asks and Yuui tells him; it has too much cheese in, and when he confides to Yuui that he's lactose intolerant he can see the way Yuui's face subtly changes - sympathy. They pour over the menus together, and eventually Yuui helps him pick out a squid meal that looks nice, as well as an appetiser and a side-dish to go with it.

"Fai hates raw fish," Yuui says as they pass over their menus. "But he's actually allergic to almonds."

"And you?"

"Me?" Yuui looks surprised, and then grins crookedly. "I'm not allergic to anything anymore."

"Do you hate fish?"

"No. I can make a pretty good calamari, actually."

"Huh, at least one of you isn't a failure," Kurogane opines, and Yuui chuckles as he idly unfolds his napkin.

They order a refill on their wine, and then Yuui asks Kurogane about tomorrow's lessons and Kurogane begins talking about his students and classes; a natural enough topic for teachers. Yuui shyly offers commentary on his own, and Kurogane asks him how he's settling in, and Yuui listens to him complain about Yuuko, and then, well, the conversation continues pleasantly enough. It only pauses when the food arrives, and even then not entirely.

"It's strange," Yuui says quietly as he arranges his knife and fork next to each other neatly on his empty plate. "I haven't really been able to talk to anyone like this aside from, well, Fai. Maybe it's the wine?"

"Maybe," Kurogane says shortly, eyeing the bottle. Their server had left it there after their third glass. He's not drunk - he's maybe tipsy at best - but he can't feel that tingle in his fingertips and that lick of warmth in his belly that comes from being drunk. Yuui appears to be holding up better than expected, too; perhaps high alcohol tolerance is hereditary. Fai can drink _him_ under the table.

"Thank you for coming, Kurogane-san," Yuui says, and smiles at him. The wine has left a dusky red across his pale foreigner's cheeks. "I appreciate it. I do."

"It's fine," Kurogane says. "How are you getting back?"

"Taxi."

"Me too, we'll share. We're going to the same place, anyways."

Yuui smiles at that and neatly folds his napkin, tossing it back onto the table next to his plate. "Of course," he says. The server approaches with the bill; Yuui takes out his wallet and sends her back with his credit card before Kurogane can protest. "It's fine. I was going to pay for Fai anyway, and you ate far less than he would have, Kurogane-san."

"Tch. Just Kurogane," Kurogane growls, embarrassed at having his dinner paid for reasons he doesn't fully understand, and watches the way Yuui's eyebrows lift. "I'll get the cab fare, then."

"If you like," Yuui says, and he's smiling at him, that slightly teasing smile that belongs on his brother's face. Affronted, Kurogane leans across the table.

"I'm not a _girl_," he says.

Yuui looks faintly puzzled. "I never said you were."

Kurogane shrugs. "Yeah. Well. Just so you know."

"Okay," Yuui agrees, with the air of humouring him, and Kurogane growls under his breath and looks away as their server returns with the receipt. Yuui signs it in an elegant, looping script; and then they are sliding out from their seats and their coats are being returned to them. Kurogane's umbrella is still damp.

The rain has slowed, which is good; there's a shortage of cabs waiting outside. It takes them a little while to flag a passing one, and it's Kurogane who gives the driver directions while Yuui sits quietly in the back seat and stares out of the window.

"I had a good time," Yuui says abruptly as the cab turns into the staff car park of their apartment complex. "Thank you... Kurogane."

"It's fine," Kurogane says absently. He'd've given anything to hear his name like that from Fai, but somehow the way Yuui says it is warm and unique, and he quite likes it. He counts out the driver's cash in notes, and Yuui waits for him at the door into the building. He tilts his face up when Kurogane approaches and smiles, and for a moment, just a moment, looking down at him framed in the doorway with his own arm extended to catch the door, Kurogane finds he just wants to... move. That last inch.

He catches himself and watches the way Yuui's pupils dilate, and thinks that if he had fallen, Yuui wouldn't have said no. "Listen -" they say in unison.

"You first -"

"Whatever, you want to -"

"_Fine,_" Yuui says firmly. His eyes are very dark; the only light is a fluorescent bulb above his head, and it makes his skin look even paler than usual, but his eyes are the inky blue of the deep sea. "Kurogane, I... I'm not trying to poach you. Okay? I. I don't want that."

"No. No, obviously," Kurogane says, shaken.

"I mean if I had - but I haven't, I - Well. Fai got you, didn't he? And you're good for him, I... I wouldn't," Yuui murmurs, his eyes wide and earnest, and Kurogane swallows. His heart feels like it's contracting, or maybe it's his rib cage that's shrinking, crushing it relentlessly.

"No. Me either. You're his, his brother. I'm not trying to - I mean, I'm not that shallow, I know you're two very different people," he says and Yuui nods desperately in time to his words. There's no warm smile on his face now.

They're still too close.

It's Yuui who breaks eye contact first. "Thank you for the evening," he whispers, and then he's inching back, inching _away_, and then he's gone, just his feet sounding on the cold stone of the complex stairs.

Kurogane lowers his head and quietly hisses every Japanese curse phrase he knows, followed by the foreign ones the twins have taught him since he met them; English, Icelandic, Italian. It doesn't help.

* * *

><p>The next day he hands out forty seven detentions to students for offences such as lateness, attitude and personal presentation. When he catches a couple holding hands near the science block he gives them a fifteen minute detention for unprofessional conduct, and it's only when the kids have fled his wrath does he look up and see Fai leaning against the wall watching him, his arms folded over his chest and one ankle hooked negligently over the other.<p>

He doesn't hang around.

* * *

><p>He's in his office after school with his door locked, barricading himself in with papers. He's fairly sure he locked the window, too, so when he hears that telltale scrabbling he groans inwardly and sinks back in his chair as Fai hauls himself in over the windowsill.<p>

"The hell do you want," he growls. "And how did you get in?"

"In reverse order, I have a key and Yuui made you lunch," Fai replies cheerfully, rolling his legs over and standing up straight. He has a plain bento box in one hand. "However, he didn't see you this morning before school and he couldn't find you at lunchtime, so _ta-daa_~! Here's lunch at four o'clock."

"I've been busy," Kurogane growls, and Fai snorts and delicately puts the box on the corner of his desk.

"Kuro-liar is terrible at his chosen occupation," he says.

Kurogane snarls at him and turns his page with rather more force than he needs to. "What the hell do you want," he says.

Fai plants both hands on his desk and leans forward, and suddenly there's no humour in those shining blue eyes at all. His lab coat falls open around his hips, making him appear bigger. "Really, Kuro-tan, you're a thirty year old man," Fai says. "Grow up and talk about what's bothering you."

"Twenty-eight," Kurogane corrects, but sighs and raises a hand, rubbing at his temples. "Is this for you or for Yuui?"

"Maybe it's both," Fai says, and Kurogane glares at him. He shrugs. "Yuui means a lot to me, Kuro-slow."

"And I don't, right. I got you."

Fai picks up the top paper from a stack on Kurogane's desk, flips it over to see which student wrote it, and then flings it wildly over his shoulder; Kurogane twitches. "I like you," Fai says flatly. "I mostly like your cock, I'll be upfront about that. But Yuui likes you too, Kuro-dense. What happened last night?"

Kurogane shrugs. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"_Nothing_. Are you happy? I'm stupid enough that I respect _you_ enough to not make out with your identical twin."

Fai watches him. There's nothing in his expression, nothing at all. "I think you used one too many 'enoughs' there," he says.

"This doesn't bother you?" Kurogane demands. "It seemed to bother your _twin_."

Fai sighs and folds his arms over his chest. "Look, I don't like talking about me," he says, seriously. "I really don't. If Yuui hadn't gone and stupidly -" He sighs. "Yuui means a lot to me, okay? He always has. But he means less to me now than he... used to. We grew up and grew apart."

Kurogane snorts. "You don't act like it. You're acting more like a meddling ex than a protective older brother -"

Fai raises a pointed eyebrow, and Kurogane feels his sentence sputter to a halt. For a moment he just stares at Fai stupidly, sure he's misinterpreting; Fai breaks eye contact and looks thoughtfully out of the window, still standing before Kurogane's desk like a student about to receive a dressing down.

"Are you serious?" Kurogane breathes.

Fai brushes some imaginary dust off the edge of his lab coat. Kurogane shoves his chair back and crosses over to the door, checking that it's locked; he pulls the window back down and flips the catch on _that_, too.

"Are you telling me -?"

"Yes," Fai says calmly.

Kurogane slumps on the edge of his desk, running one hand through his hair. "I don't... when?"

"Before we graduated high school," Fai says. "We were so close we were almost one person when we came back to Iceland, and then we began to split apart, and that scared us. So we tried to fix it."

"With _incest_?" Kurogane breathes, leaning closer and lowering his voice, and Fai shrugs.

"With whatever we could," he says, and there is genuine sadness in his voice. "I didn't... You're an only child, right, Kuro-tan? I... we were just two. Mother was sick and father was busy and then lost, and we were two. And... And I would have done anything to keep it that way, but..."

"But what?" Kurogane asks, despite himself.

"But it didn't work. We just kept growing apart - kept growing _up_. And... And then one day Yuui left for Italy, and I... didn't."

He looks away at this point, and Kurogane realizes this is the most emotionally honest he's ever seen Fai.

"You understand that once you've had that kind of relationship, it's... hard to have another with someone else," Fai says, quietly. "I don't feel that way for him anymore... but I still love him more than anything else I have, do you understand?"

Kurogane narrows his eyes. "And that's why you're so standoffish," he says. "Tch, I should've guessed."

"I'm not sorry for what we did," Fai says fiercely, glaring at him. "Especially since we're not doing it anymore. But I want him to be happy, Kuro-tan, and for whatever reason he picked _you_ to care about, and I don't mind sharing my toys with him because I've been doing it all my life."

Kurogane flushes red, with anger more than embarrassment. "I am _not_ your _toy_!"

Fai's eyes cut to his. They are as blue as Yuui's; identical. For all their superficial similarities however Kurogane by now knows the differences between them, and he scowls deeply at the blond. "Do you want to kiss Yuui, Kuro-blush?"

"I don't _blush_!"

"But do you?" Fai persists, and Kurogane hesitates. Fai's clothes rustle as he leans closer, and he's not smiling. "Do you want to kiss my brother?"

Kurogane glares at him, but Fai doesn't back down, and this isn't the goofy, distant Fai he knows. "Shouldn't you ask him what he thinks first?" he says, acidly. "You're the older brother. Is this even what he wants?"

Fai scowls at him. "You think I'm taking advantage of him," he guesses. "Or looking for some way to get back in _bed_ with him? Kurogane, I thought you were smarter than that."

It's the first time he's ever called Kurogane by his first name. It sounds much worse than when Yuui uses it.

"I want Yuui to be happy because I _love_ him. Maybe more than I should, but not in the ways you're insinuating. Do you want to kiss him or not?"

Kurogane frowns, and Fai takes it as an affirmative, because he continues, "I want to share you with him. Not at the same time, but in general. I don't want you to have to pick which one of us you'd rather stick with. You may not have noticed, _Kurogane_, but we're different people."

"I noticed," Kurogane says coldly. "And he didn't kiss me because he didn't want to steal me from _you_. What are you gonna do about that?"

Fai straightened up from the desk and folded his arms back over his chest, then sucked in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "Next week I'm going to a conference in London," he says. "It's a conference related to my field of expertise, it's quite important academically speaking, and I used up an awful lot of holiday time to get the whole week off."

"The whole week," Kurogane repeats quietly.

"I'll be gone from early Sunday straight through to late the following Sunday," Fai continues. "Leaving you and Yuui alone. Back here. Do I have to draw you a picture, Kuro-sama?"

Kurogane sighs. "No," he says, and Fai's lab coat swishes as he makes his way over to the window catch.

"Listen," he says, and for the first time Kurogane's known him he sounds less than confident. "Don't... don't tell anybody what I told you, okay? Not so much for me, but... Yuui means a lot to me. Don't..." He pauses, groping for words to describe what he means, and Kurogane takes pity on him.

"I won't," he says. "Get lost, idiot."

"I'll see you later, Kuro-sama," Fai says, and then he's gone, leaving Kurogane behind in the sudden coldness of his office with nothing but his thoughts (and the mental image of two blonds kissing which he _really_ doesn't need, even if they are hot as fuck) for company.

Goddamn idiot, Kurogane thinks tetchily. Always has to go around fucking up his life.

* * *

><p>It's five in the morning, and Kurogane's going through his kendo routine in the gym before school starts.<p>

Even after quitting the sport professionally, there's something about doing kendo he finds restful. It's in the ability to clear his mind; how each sharp, flickering slash requires his absolute focus to direct it where it needs to go. It's in the burn of exercising muscles and the power and the control needed to direct the wooden sword with the perfect amount of force, and the concentration required to maintain optimum footing as he slides from one kata into another.

He chose to eschew the formal garb, keeping to his tracksuit as he moves, but he remains barefoot and the gym mats are cold and slick beneath his toes. They provide more than enough traction as he spins and turns, letting loose the traditional roar as he does so; and he is making enough noise that it is not until the gym door slams closed that he realises he has an observer.

Yuui is standing quietly just inside the door, his bag slung cross-wise across his chest. There are dark circles under his eyes, like he hasn't been sleeping very well, and his normally sleek and fine hair is slightly mussed. When Kurogane slows from his kata, Yuui gives him a small, tired smile.

"Fai said you liked to practise here," he says, his voice oddly echoed in the gym hall.

Kurogane snorts. "Don't ask me how he knows," he says, lowering his sword, and makes his cautious way over to Yuui who watches him approach quietly. "He's never come here while I've been exercising."

"Maybe not that you've seen," Yuui says softly. He swallows as Kurogane climbs off the gym mats and stands before him, looking down to keep eye contact; even barefoot Kurogane has a couple of inches on him. His fingers toy nervously with the strap of his bag. "I brought you lunch."

"Thanks," Kurogane says uncertainly, and Yuui turns away to open up his bag and fish out the lunch box. It's the same one that Fai brought him two days ago. He thinks Fai took it from his apartment when Fai came to him yesterday.

Their hands brush as Yuui hands over the bento. Yuui's eyes remain downcast and soft. "Do you want something to drink?" Kurogane blurts, "I've got uh, some decent green tea in my office."

"Fai said he told you what we used to do," Yuui says quietly.

Kurogane pauses. "I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't ask to know that."

"It's not your fault," Yuui says, still in that hushed, low voice. "My brother can be an... idiot." He sighs, looking miserable. "I didn't want you to know that about me, Kurogane. I'm... I'm not sorry for what we did, and I'm not sorry for what we were, but I didn't want you to think ill of me."

"I don't," Kurogane replies awkwardly. "I mean. I didn't _like_ it when I heard, but I thought about it, and I... it's got nothing to do with me, does it? What you and the idiot did together then was what you and the idiot did together then, and I don't care about your pasts."

"You really don't care?" Yuui peers at him thoughtfully. "Really?"

"Tch. What the two of you do is no business of mine," Kurogane growls. "Besides..." He hesitates. "Did you know about the Japanese myth about twins?"

"No," Yuui says.

"The myth says..." Kurogane gestures uncomfortably, and unfortunately, vaguely. The confusion in Yuui's face does not dissipate, and he sighs heavily. "When two fated lovers commit suicide over each other, they're reborn as twins. There. You learned something today."

"Are you suggested Fai and I killed each other in a past life, so we were reincarnated as _twins_?" Yuui looks incredulous. "That has to be the most unfair move ever. If we loved each other so much we died for each other, why were we reborn related to each other?"

"Don't ask me, ask the gods," Kurogane snaps.

"It's like a celestial cockblock," Yuui complains, and Kurogane _looks_ at him. "What?"

"You sound like your brother," Kurogane says.

Yuui grins. "Well, we are related."

"Hard to believe," says Kurogane. "There's no way your twin would be awake at five o'clock in the morning to give someone a lunchbox."

"Fai always was a terrible morning person," Yuui agrees, and hesitates. "I... I wanted to make sure you got that. If nothing else."

Kurogane thinks about what to say for a moment, and then another, and still nothing presents itself. He looks down at the crown of blond hair, the faint pinkness of face. His bare feet are splayed out across the shiny wood of the gym floor, sandwiching Yuui's polished dark work shoes between them.

"Do you want to come get some tea in my office?" he says eventually, and Yuui's grateful nod brings a crooked smile to the corner of his mouth.

"I'd like that very much," Yuui whispers, and he grins at Kurogane with warmth in his eyes. "Fai said..."

"Your brother is an idiot," Kurogane says, and then quickly, "Look, did he tell you he was going away this weekend...?"

Yuui bites his lip. "Yes."

"Okay. Look, I don't know what he told you he expected from us..." Yuui flushes and Kurogane snaps his gaze up at the ceiling immediately, fighting not to mimic the blond. For fuck's sake, he's getting worse than _Sakura_, and he doesn't know how the twins can do that to him. He clears his throat. "Whatever your idiot brother said," he continues firmly, "We don't have to listen to him."

"Of course not," Yuui says quickly and gratefully. "Nothing has to change between us just because he's gone, Kurogane."

"Yeah, you're right," Kurogane says, just as quickly. "He's too used to getting his own way."

"He is the older twin," Yuui points out delicately and then smiles. "I'm glad you said something though, Kurogane. It keeps things from being awkward."

Kurogane clears his throat. "It's fine," he says, becoming aware that he's losing his battle with blushing, and resolves to come in a half-hour earlier tomorrow to work out as if that can make up for how fucking _girly_ these twins make him. Yuui shoots him a quick, sweet grin, and goddamnit.

Yeah, it's a losing battle all right.

* * *

><p><em>-tbc<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Notes -<strong>

**Thermite:** This is a mix of aluminium ('aluminum' in the US) and iron oxide that when ignited, burns at 2,400 degrees celcius (water boils at 100 degrees). Go look 'thermite vs car' up on youtube for a clip of thermite being used to basically destroy a Citroen car.  
><strong>Fleshlight:<strong> This is a sex toy for men. It's a long black cylinder designed to look like a flashlight, but when you take the cap off you can see that it's lined with soft silicone and the 'top' is shaped like various human orifices. Yeah. Fai's a CLASSY BOY.


	3. I wish I knew that number

Third and last part of 'Oh my God everyone here is a dork'. Definitely not worksafe for boys being... uh... less dorky.

**Rating:** Hard R.  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> Kurogane x Yuui, Kurogane x Fai, hints of numerous other pairings.  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Merry Christmas, Shacha! Love, Santa.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> this fic contains mentions of incest and Seishirou being a disturbing creeper (well, when is he not).

* * *

><p><strong>Leave my thoughts behind<strong>

Oh, i'm missing all the things i knew  
>I miss them yet i want them gone<br>Yes, i'm missing all the things i knew  
>Yet wish i knew nothing at all<br>I wish i knew nothing at all  
><em>- Massive Attack, 'Three'<em>

"... And the postman comes by at 4pm, Kuro-tan, so be sure not to go fetch the mail before then, unless there's a package, in which case you should take it into your apartment because I don't trust the lunatic downstairs not to steal it -"

Kurogane grits his teeth and lets his hand tighten around his mug. "Idiot, I _know_ when the mail comes. I _live here_! And that 'lunatic' is the head of the math department -"

"And while I'm sure Fuuma-sensei is a fine man with a compass I'm not so sure I trust him with my post," Fai replies cheerfully, clapping his hands together, and Kurogane squares his jaw and glares at him. Fai beams at him like the sun. "Is there anything else you need to know?"

"Why you're so damn irritating?" Kurogane growls, and Fai heaves in a dramatic breath.

"I'm going away for a whole week and Kurowan-sensei has no kind words of parting? No kiss for his departing beloved?" Fai bats his eyelashes and Kurogane huffs in disgust, which only makes the airhead pout. "_Mean_."

"You're only going away for a week, idiot," Kurogane says.

"A _whole_ week. Kiss me before I go!"

Kurogane dodges the blond's surprise assault without spilling a single drop of his tea; Fai lands on the couch and then rolls over, his lower lip sticking out in a pout. Kurogane ignores this and instead raises his mug to drain it, and Fai gives up with a loud sigh.

"Kuro-tan and his intimacy issues," he sighs at the sky, and the hypocrisy is enough that Kurogane nearly spits his tea out across the rug. Fai trudges over to his suitcase, borrowed from Yuui for the duration of the trip. "Look after Yuui while I'm gone, okay?"

"I don't think your brother needs anyone to look after him," Kurogane points out. "He's not you."

"He's my _baby brother,_" Fai says firmly. "Look after him, don't stay up too late, and feed the fish!"

Kurogane twitches. "You don't _have_ any fish."

The idiot grins at him, and Kurogane has the sense he's blundered into a trap. "Then get me some fish, Kuro-kind~! It's my birthday soon."

"You said it was your birthday last September, last August and last May," Kurogane says. "You must be well over a hundred by now."

"Not my fault Kuro-christmas cake likes older men."

"I - _what_?" Kurogane snarls, and Fai beams at him cheerfully and bends down, unthreading the shoulder strap on his bag.

"Kuro-tan appreciates... experience, is all I'm saying," he purrs, and then his cell phone rings; Kurogane swears under his breath as he marches into the kitchen with his mug while Fai answers it.

"That's my ride to the airport," he calls loudly, and when Kurogane emerges he's heaving his bag up onto one shoulder. "The taxi's outside, I have to go."

"Yeah, yeah," Kurogane growls, and before he can reconsider he crosses the room and slips his fingers under Fai's jaw, angling the idiot up for that kiss he'd wanted. Fai smiles into it, and his lips are dry and chafed.

"Mmm. Thank you."

"Whatever."

"Be nice to Yuui!" Fai hollers as he hauls the door open, and Kurogane waves a hand by way of parting. "And don't abuse that poor fleshlight!"

Kurogane flushes. "Like _hell_ I would, you -"

Whatever Fai is is cut short by the door closing, and Kurogane subsides although he can _hear_ the weird bastard laughing to himself as he makes his way down the corridor outside.

After Fai's gone Kurogane does the dishes, fetches out his cleaning materials and settles in for a Sunday spent mostly Fluorite free. He's been putting off his housekeeping for too long, and if his mother were to visit she'd be appalled at him, so he spends the day vacuuming rugs, sweeping floors, washing windows and wiping down surfaces, and he doesn't think of the blond idiots at _all_.

Not at all.

He's allowed to be selfish, right?

* * *

><p>He's watching a samurai movie (with his pants firmly <em>on<em>, because Fai is an idiot and he's wrong about a lot of things) when the knock sounds at his door. It's not Fai's knock, but it sounds too harsh to be Yuui's, so Kurogane climbs to his feet and heads over with as much stealth as he can. He taped a bit of paper over the eyehole so the light inside wouldn't give him away to a visitor, and he pushes it out of the way to peer intently at his guest.

It's Yuui standing on the mat, wearing a pair of jeans, a hoodie and a scowl. As Kurogane watches he begins banging again, his palm making the wood jump, and Kurogane undoes the lock and opens the door. "What?" he asks.

"I'm going to murder him," Yuui says.

"What?"

Yuui glares at him. "My brother," he says tightly. "He's managed to _lock me out of my flat_."

Kurogane raises an eyebrow. "Uh. How?"

"I don't know!" Yuui snaps. "He changed my keys or something, they won't fit in the lock anymore!"

He's bristling on Kurogane's doormat, giving the impression of barely contained violence, and Kurogane hesitates for a few minutes before hesitantly offering to give the door a try. Yuui glares at him, but he holds his keys out and drops them in Kurogane's open palm, and after Kurogane puts the catch on the door he follows him down the corridor to his own apartment.

It takes about three minutes of trying before Kurogane realises what Fai's done, and then he offers to lend Yuui his cell phone so he can call a locksmith. "He's filled in the keyhole with some kind of putty, I think," he says, and Yuui stares at him for a heartbeat and then turns away and violently kicks the wall.

"I _knew_ there was a reason he followed me out of my flat this morning! I'm going to kill him."

"Call a locksmith," Kurogane says. "I have a phone directory in my apartment near my landline."

Yuui scowls. "I'm going to kill him."

"I know. You said that already."

"Well, I am."

"I heard. Go on, go make that call," Kurogane says, and Yuui scowls at his locked door and stomps his way back into Kurogane's flat, cursing under his breath in what sounds like French as he does so. Kurogane wonders just how many languages the twins know between them.

He slips into the apartment as silently as he can to find Yuui sitting on the arm of his couch, the phone to his ear, and quietly makes Yuui a cup of tea before loitering in the middle of the room, feeling superfluous. Yuui answers the locksmith's questions with terse, bad-tempered brevity, and eventually concludes the conversation with, "_Fine_. I'll be there."

Kurogane holds out the steaming mug of tea. "Is he coming out?"

"Yeah," Yuui says, scowling. "_Tomorrow_. Honestly, killing or not, I am going to murderise my brother. His pranks have always been pretty goddamn stupid, but this takes the cake."

Kurogane hesitates. "You can stay the night if you like," he says. "There's room enough on the sofa."

Yuui blinks at him, startled, and then his face lapses into his familiarly rueful smile, albeit stressed at the edges. "Thank you," he says. "That would be kind of you. Is there anything I can do...?"

"Tch." Kurogane looks away, embarrassed, and raises a hand to scratch at the back of his neck. "You don't have to do anything. Your brother screwed you over, right? It's not a big deal, you don't have to repay me."

"But I want to," Yuui says softly, and Kurogane stares intently at the floor. His toes are very interesting suddenly.

"I guess you could... I don't know. You could cook, if you wanted. But you don't have to!" he adds fiercely, and Yuui chuckles.

"That sounds fair. Thank you. Do you mind if I have a look around your kitchen?"

Kurogane shakes his head, standing aside to let Yuui pass, and glares mulishly up the ceiling. _You could cook if you wanted,_ he repeats back to himself in a stupid high-pitched voice. _You're an idiot._

Why does he always feel thirteen again around Yuui?

"Kurogane?" Yuui calls, his voice echoing in the stainless steel of the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't know you liked Pinot Gris."

Kurogane's brows draw together. "What?"

"Alsace Pinot Gris? The wine?" Yuui sticks his head around the door, smiling. He has a delicate bottle in one hand, labelled in French. "It's my favourite too. And it's a 2005, good taste."

Kurogane stares at him. "I don't drink wine at home. Give me that. Where was it?"

"In your top cupboard," Yuui says, staring at him. "Behind the busted rice cooker, which by the way might explain how you fail at making _onigiri_."

Kurogane turns the bottle over and sighs when his suspicions are confirmed. There's a hot pink post-it note stuck to the end of the bottle; a very _familiar_ hand has written on it in shaky kanji: "He's a three-glass exhibitionist."

"... Is that?" Yuui scowls when Kurogane peels the post-it note off and passes it to him, and then sighs deeply. "_Fai_. Did I mention the murdering?"

"I think so."

"I'm not really a three-glass exhibitionist," he adds.

"I didn't think you were."

Yuui nods. He's turning faintly pink. "I... I know. I was just making sure."

"Okay," Kurogane says.

"Because I don't know what else my idiot brother has said."

"Reasonable," Kurogane agrees.

"So we're clear?"

"We're clear."

"Okay. Good." Yuui smoothes his hands down his hoodie and bites his lip. "Um. Seems a shame to waste the wine, though. It goes well with chicken..."

"Middle drawer of the freezer," Kurogane says. "You need any help?"

"No."

"Okay."

They stare at each other in silence.

Yuui licks his lips. "... Can I have the wine bottle back, Kurogane?"

Kurogane jerks and hands it over, and he's aware as he does so that he's definitely lost his battle with this blush. He thinks the tip of his _nose_ is burning. Yuui bites his lower lip, and he has to look away rapidly. He's an adult man, he reminds himself. He's an adult man, not a teenage boy, and he's a martial artist and he has _control_ of himself.

"I'm. I'm going to, to, to go start," Yuui says nervously, and then he's vanished back into the kitchen in a whisk of blond hair. Kurogane finds himself looking after him and then curses when he realizes he's yet to get around to the bathroom in his housekeeping chores, and makes his rather urgent way to assess the condition of that room. He wasn't expecting _company_.

He wipes the sides down quickly with a folded wad of toilet paper and disposes of the wads of bloody cotton wool balls on the countertops where he staunches the bleeding when he nicks himself shaving. His mother taught him basic hygiene, so it isn't too bad in there, but while he's frantically picking up his bathroom detritus of empty soap bottles and hair gel cans and broken razors from the sides of the bathtub he comes across a tupperware box placed neatly on the shelf above the bathtub, right at eyelevel if you're soaking. There's another hot pink post-it stuck to it, and Kurogane picks it up with narrowed, suspicious eyes.

_These aren't actually finger puppets,_ it reads, and he pops open the tupperware with a crippling sense of inevitability. The silver foil packets inside are stamped with their maker's label and claim to be 'hardwearing'.

Yuui isn't the only person who's going to murder Fai, he decides.

"Kurogane? I can't find the - oh," Yuui says, standing in the bathroom doorway and staring at him, and Kurogane glances down quickly at the condoms in his hand.

"This isn't -"

"Of course it's not," Yuui says. "Forget waiting for him to come back, I'm going to chase him to London and kill him there."

"I'll come with you," Kurogane says, finding his voice at last. "That _idiot_."

Yuui grins at this, showing just a hint of teeth, and it soothes some of the anger boiling in Kurogane's belly. "I get first dibs. Sibling privileges."

"Fine," Kurogane agrees. "I'll get what's left." They share small smiles at this, bonding over Fai's imminent demise, and then Kurogane recalls the reason for Yuui interrupting him. "What did you want help finding?"

"Oh, right," Yuui says, and his eyes slide away ruefully. "I couldn't find your sage."

"Yeah. Right. I buy it fresh, it's the small plant on the windowsill," Kurogane says, and hesitates. "You need help finding anything else?"

"Your flour, maybe," Yuui says, and Kurogane grins at him briefly; a curve at the edges of his mouth, less a smile and more a slash of a smirk.

"Let me show you," he says, taking a step toward the door, and the blond hesitates. "What?"

"You don't need to bring the condoms into the kitchen," Yuui says amused, and when Kurogane glances down he realises he's still holding the tupperware in one hand.

"Right. Fine, I'll..."

"I'll see you in the kitchen," Yuui says, pushing away from the door frame, and Kurogane looks uncertainly down at the stupid box and then at the pedal bin in the corner.

Well, no point in throwing them away. He can probably use them with Fai, assuming Fai survives Yuui's wrath. Hesitantly he slides the box back onto his bathroom counter, and then slinks out of the bathroom and after Yuui.

He's always been pragmatic.

* * *

><p>Yuui cooks them an Icelandic recipe that he claims was the first 'real' meal he made by himself; it's spicy and warm on Kurogane's tongue, and when he uncorks the wine it does about as well as he'd thought. It's a heady, rich wine that is more potent than he'd assumed, and for a while they don't talk, busy eating and drinking.<p>

"Sorry it wasn't as good as I'd hoped," Yuui says after the plates have been cleared and it's just them and the wine bottle. "Really I should have been able to marinade the chicken longer, but I was hungry. If you like I'll make you the dish again later properly."

"It was fine," Kurogane grunts, and Yuui gives him a _look_ like he knows Kurogane's lying but doesn't want to call him on it.

"I wouldn't have pegged you for the type to grow your own herbs, though," he says, amused."Especially given your failure to make _basic onigiri_."

Kurogane flushes and takes another sip of wine to cover for it. "My mother grew herbs when I was a kid," he says. "She had a herb garden out back of the house, next to dad's dojo."

"Is she a good cook?" Yuui asks quietly, and Kurogane shrugs.

"She makes amazing fish," he says honestly. "I missed it when I moved out."

Yuui smiles at him sadly. "I'm glad," he says. "Not that you missed it, but that you have that from her. I don't remember much about my mother. Just the piano."

Kurogane peers at him cautiously. Yuui's face is pink but he doesn't look drunk; he's pulled off his hoodie and he's leaning back against Kurogane's couch with his ponytail spilling over his shoulder and his knees pulled up to his chest, his bare feet resting on a cushion. His gaze is distant, but there's no tension around his face.

"At least you have the other idiot," he points out, and Yuui huffs out a short laugh.

"That I do. A toast to my idiot?" He holds up the glass, and Kurogane leans forward over the table to knock his own against it with the dull _thonk_ that's the sign of cheap wineglasses.

"To our idiot," he says. "Who we're going to murder when he gets back."

"To Fai," Yuui echoes, laughing, and tips his head back, draining his wine glass in one long fluid gulp. His throat works, Adamﾒs apple bobbing as he swallows, and Kurogane hurriedly copies him because it's either drain his glass or touch his lips to that Adamﾒs apple to feel it move, and...

For fuck's sake.

Yuui leans forward, picking the bottle up by the neck and giving it a cautious shake, then peers down the neck and pouts at the lack of wine inside. "We've been quite industrious, Kurogane," he complains.

"Help yourself to the rest," Kurogane says, and maybe he's drunk too much because his mouth keeps on running even after he's told it to stop: "You've already had three glasses and you haven't taken any clothes off yet."

The liquid in the bottle slooshes as Yuui lowers it abruptly, staring directly at him. His lips are parted and his eyes are very blue and for the love of _fuck_ self restraint isn't working so well because Kurogane _really wants to kiss him_. Just to see what he'd do.

"Would you like me to?" Yuui asks, very slowly. There's something in the careful light of his gaze, the way his head is tilted. "It's a strong wine, but you haven't drunk enough that you can blame it on the booze, Kurogane."

Kurogane scowls. "It doesn't matter. No. I shouldn't have said that."

Yuui glances down at the bottle and then pours it out into his glass. His hand is quivering, barely noticeable but there. "Okay," he says. "Because... because we shouldn't."

"No."

"Because Fai wouldn't like it."

"No," Kurogane says. "Because..."

He pauses. He can't remember why they're not doing this.

Yuui is watching him with eyes as dark and unfathomable as the deep blue sea. "Fai told me that he wanted to share, did you know that?"

"Yeah," Kurogane says, and then when Yuui's eyebrow goes up, "Well, not what he told _you_. The idiot said something similar to me."

Yuui's tongue darts out to wet his lower lip, a tiny pink triangle. "So Fai doesn't mind," he says carefully. "And we both know that. And. And I said I wanted to get to _know_ you, Kurogane, do you remember...? I want..."

Every muscle Kurogane has feels like it's wired tight, like there's no flexibility in him at all. If his old kendo coach could see him now he'd be getting a righteous kicking. "What do you want?" he asks, and if his voice is hoarse it's not surprising. Yuui raises his wine glass to his lips, and his eyes flick to Kurogane's as he raises it to drink, and his eyes are as blue as Fai's and yet different in every way that matters.

"I want to touch you," he says, barely audible, and puts the glass down on the table with the delicate _click_. "I want to touch you, Kurogane."

Well. Kurogane's down with that. More than down with that, actually, and his mouth goes dry. "Okay," he says in that hoarse voice, and Yuui gives a small bark of laughter. "What?"

"Is that it?" Yuui demands. He pushes himself up onto his knees and folds his arms over his chest. "Is that all you have to say? Two twins at once -"

"Not _at once_," Kurogane corrects quickly. Fuck, Fai is enough by _himself_.

"- Two twins at different times and all you can say is _mmmmph_!"

Kurogane grins. It seemed the prudent thing to do to interrupt Yuui by seizing his wrist and using it to tug the blond toward him, and now Yuui is sprawled across his lap and is just the right angle for kissing, and so Kurogane submits to his baser instincts, slides one hand around the side of Yuui's throat - thumb splayed across his jaw, fingers buried in that (soft, fine) hair - and indulges himself at last.

It's good. Maybe it's anticipation speaking, but the shy, delicate brush of their mouths is so achingly, so _stupidly_ good that the kiss is ruined because both of them are smiling too hard to actually make with the lip locking, which goes to figure. Yuui's lips are warm and hard, thin against his; it's nothing like kissing a girl and it's nothing like kissing Fai and fuck, Kurogane likes that.

He stoops, craning his neck at an awkward angle and tipping Yuui's chin up a few degrees to make another go of it, and this time it sucks less; Yuui's mouth opens for him and he sweeps his tongue in softly, feeling the rasp of Yuui's teeth against its underside and chasing the faint thread of wine amidst warm salt and spice and iron. Yuui's hands settle on his shoulders, palms solid and heavy against him and fingers splayed, and Kurogane can feel himself hardening under his jeans from this kiss and this man and this warmth on his lap.

They part and it's Yuui who dives back for more; Kurogane sets his hands to the blond's hips and tilts his head up as Yuui kisses the corner of his mouth, tongue flicking out fever-fast to sweep up some stray sauce from dinner and Kurogane growls low in his throat. Yuui's hands on his shoulders are firm but forceful, pushing him back, and eventually with Yuui's weight on his chest and hips he has no choice but to comply, sinking onto his back on the rug as Yuui sucks soft teasing kisses along the line of his jaw, the underside of his chin.

"Wanted - to do this - for a long time," Yuui murmurs, his breath a wash of warm air behind Kurogane's ear that makes him shiver and his cock twitch in his pants; his nipples are standing at attention and Yuui releases his tight-fingered grip on Kurogane's shoulder to rub circles around one of them through Kurogane's shirt. Kurogane growls and it comes out low and shaky.

"Naked," Kurogane orders. He runs his hands along Yuui's spine, following its bumps with his palms; the t-shirt fabric is soft but he's sure Yuui's skin would be softer. "Oi. Naked, we're not doing this clothed, I - _hnngh_."

Yuui gives him a sly look from behind his bangs, and flicks Kurogane's nipple with his thumbnail again in an attempt to solicit the same response; Kurogane hisses under his breath and sweeps his hands up the blond's body to the back of his hand, sliding his fingers in silky-soft hair and _tugging_, pulling Yuui down for another hot, hungry kiss.

The blond's mouth is moving softly against his own despite the presence of tongue and he's so _hot_, burning against Kurogane's body, his thighs warm against Kurogane's own and his erection pressing down into Kurogane's hip. He's a hard heavy weight atop Kurogane's ribcage, hot and sweaty and pleasantly male, his musk heavy on the air, and he's not Fai. This isn't how things go with Fai. This is something else entirely, different and slower and just as goddamn good.

Yuui's t-shirt goes first; Kurogane grips its hem firmly and pushes, _up_, and reluctantly Yuui breaks the contact of their mouths and straightens, covering Kurogane's hands with his and helping him get the stupid thing off. His hair-tie vanishes with it, and his hair spills soft and shaggy around his face as he tosses the shirt negligently into some corner of Kurogane's living room where he will no doubt be unable to find it the following morning.

His hungry expression says he doesn't care about that, but Kurogane's eyes are on the winding edges of the tattoo, the delicate branding lines snaking over flat hips and wide shoulders. Naked it's hard to remember why he ever thought of Yuui as _soft_; his muscles are as sleek as Kurogane's, and he snakes a hand along the flat expanse of Yuui's stomach and around his narrow tight hips to the small of his back, following the path of the tattoo and watching the way Yuui rocks his hips thoughtlessly as he does.

"Kurogane," he says in a low, tight voice.

"Yeah," Kurogane says. He lets his hand dip down, splaying his fingers across the taut curve of Yuui's buttock. "Yeah, I'm here."

"You're wearing too many clothes," Yuui whispers, squeezing Kurogane's hips between his thighs, and Kurogane hisses. Yuui has to be able to feel his length pressing urgently against the material of his trousers, but he doesn't seem to object; if anything his smile widens. He shifts his balance curiously, testing, and Kurogane grunts as their matching erections rub against each other, separated only by suddenly flimsy fabric. His fingers tighten convulsively on the smooth roundness of Yuui's rear, and something flickers through Yuui's eyes.

Finally Kurogane has had enough of being the passive partner and tightens his core muscles, flipping them over; they wind up on their sides, Kurogane with his back to the bottom of the couch and his arms full of shirtless Yuui, who wastes no time hungrily diving his head down a few precious inches to yank the collar of Kurogane's t-shirt down and tongue his way across his collarbones.

He's too hot abruptly and so he pushes Yuui away gently but firmly, ignoring Yuui's small noise of protest (although it's hard; just not as hard as he is) and twisting upright to wrestle with the dratted t-shirt; he gets it off and then Yuui is suddenly pressed against his torso, his skin soft and smooth under Kurogane's arms as he licks at the hollow of Kurogane's throat with a surprisingly rough tongue and then slides down. There's a wicked light in his blue eyes and he keeps glancing up to watch Kurogane's face, and when he reaches Kurogane's nipple he swipes the pad of his tongue over it and smiles.

"Down," Kurogane says, and Yuui crooks an eyebrow. He flushes. "I mean... I mean, I ache, I..."

With a growl he cuts himself off and tosses an arm around Yuui's ribs, pulling him down to lie on the ground again before his twisted torso starts protesting too loudly at the angle, and Yuui darts forward and plants a mischievous kiss on the very edge of his jaw, right where it segues into his ear.

"You taste good, Kurogane," he whispers, and his eyelashes are lowered and he looks playful, and Kurogane grins back at him, a feral wolf-smile that has sharp edges.

"Heh. Do you want to -?" He ducks his head, unable to finish, to say what he wants to say: _do you want to take this to my bedroom? Do you want to do this seriously, to turn this into more than it is right now?_

Yuui pauses, eyes roaming over his face, and then he lets a smile creep over him like the sun rising and leans forward to close those last few inches between them, gently touching their lips together in a soft kiss and then parting again with a wet _pop_.

"Not just yet," he says, reaching out and sliding his hand over Kurogane's; his fingers are rougher than Fai's, from a lifetime spent around hot surfaces. He glides his palm down over the back of Kurogane's hand until he can lace their fingers together, and Kurogane cuts his gaze sideward and grins at the sight; the mesh of colours, his darker skin mixed with Yuui's alien whiteness. Yuui's eyes are suddenly calm on his face, the desperate fires that ignited within him not extinguished, merely banked.

"Are you sure?"

"Kurogane. I just want you," Yuui says. "I don't really care what we do." His whole face is open in a way Fai's never is, quite. "I just want to... I don't know."

"Want to what?" Kurogane asks, intrigued, and Yuui flushes.

"I want to be with you," he says, avoiding eye contact suddenly. "We don't have to hurry."

Kurogane reaches up and tucks an errant strand of Yuui's hair behind his ear, and then lets his hand slow down; down, over Yuui's cheek and jaw and throat, up along his shoulder and along the line of his arm, from his elbow to this ribs and down over his waist and the flat bony jut of his hips, over his flanks and then along and around until he curls his hand around the back of Yuui's thigh, fingers pressing in to the muscle there.

Yuui watches him do it with absolute trust on his face, still for Kurogane in a way Fai would never be, and it's a simple thing to _pull_, tugging Yuui into him and bringing their still-clothed cocks rubbing up against each other. Yuui's mouth falls open, the edges quirking up in a smile, and Kurogane slides his other hand up across the backs of Yuui's shoulders, fingers gliding over marked and _different_ skin.

"Come on," Yuui whispers, his breath hitching. "Kurogane -"

"I'm here," Kurogane growls, and he rocks sharply sideward into Yuui, pulling him closer, holding him tighter. "I'm here."

"Kurogane - _uh_, Kuro_gane_ - yes - _yes_ - Ah!" Yuui's head is tipped back and his chest is heaving against Kurogane's and so he does the logical thing, which is bend just _so_ and drag his tongue along the fluttering column of Yuui's throat, tasting sweat and salt and the tangy, heavy musk of Yuui himself, and he tugs Yuui tighter against him and presses into him hard, feeling the burning heat of Yuui's erection rubbing against him, and it's good, it's _good_ -

And it's friction and heat and the clinging tightness of fabric against his cock, Yuui warm against his chest and his mouth wide open as he silently sucks in air; Kurogane grits his teeth and digs his hands in tighter, pushing and pushing until Yuui rolls over onto his back and Kurogane can dip his hips down and _in_ like he wants, and Yuui is chanting something in a hoarse, awed voice but it isn't Japanese and so Kurogane pays it no mind until quite suddenly it _is_ -

"... Kuro-sama - Kuro-_sama_, Kuro-_sama_~!"

- peaking and shuddering and then Yuui stiffens underneath him and lets out an obscene gasp, his hips bucking and his spine bending, and Kurogane growls and bears down into him, nose and lips mashed into the long line of Yuui's throat as he thrusts - once, twice, thrice! - into resistance and then the heat in his belly is too much, it's overflowing, pouring through the rest of his body; and he he doesn't even know what he yells when he comes but it's probably not anything complicated because he doesn't have the brainpower.

In fact it takes him a little while to remember that he should _move_, collapsed on top of Yuui while Yuui sucks in soft, keening breaths, but when it does he rolls away quickly as his sleepy, happy body will let him. He's no teenager anymore and he's naturally inclined to zonk out after sex, but he's smart enough to know that that's the wrong thing to do in this case.

Yuui looks thoroughly debauched, which satisfies Kurogane somewhat. He could never have satisfied Fai with just some petting and fully clothed grinding, but Yuui has a wide sloppy _stupid_ grin on his face, his eyes almost completely closed; he turns his head when Kurogane moves away and pouts.

"I'm not going anywhere," Kurogane says, only it comes a bit more slurred than he's proud of. Fuck's sake, he's twenty-eight. He's done this before.

He's aware he has a grin on his face equally as stupid as Yuui's.

Yuui's eyes open fully to squint at him, and then he smiles this slow smile that's so rich in affection it makes Kurogane's heart vibrate in his chest. "Hi," he says, and Kurogane heaves out a deep sigh and settles down next to him, resting one hand on Yuui's sweaty, slick abdomen.

"Hi," he replies, and watches the way Yuui grins at him. "You called me 'Kuro-sama,'" he says. It seems like something that will be important when he can think. Yuui closes his eyes and nods and lets his head fall to one side, so that his nose bumps against Kurogane's hairline.

"Seemed the thing to do at the time," he says drowsily.

Kurogane pokes at his ribs curiously. "Are you going to pass out?"

"I might."

He crooks an eyebrow. "Already?"

"What do you mean, 'already'?" That has Yuui's attention, and Kurogane digs his toes into the rug and surges up an inch or so to kiss the edge of Yuui's mouth; Yuui's eyes are both open now and watching him steadily. "Kurogane?"

"Your brother left us condoms," Kurogane says, walking his hand carefully over Yuui's ribs and around to his back, cradling the sharp heaviness of a shoulder blade in his palm. Yuui is still watching him, perfectly trusting, and it is hard to keep the smugness from his voice. "He left us condoms, and I have lube."

"..."

He tilts his head and raises an eyebrow at Yuui, querying.

"I have the best twin ever," Yuui says in a voice tinged with something like awe, and then they're kissing again, Yuui's long calloused fingers splayed across his jaw, and despite his post-coital lassitude Kurogane feels something like anticipation weaving through his belly, dipping lower.

"Tch. We need to get out of these pants," he says.

Yuui smiles and he's so beautiful and so different from his twin it takes Kurogane's breath away all over again. They're not the same person, and he doesn't regret now striking that deal, because he could never give up Fai - who has wormed his way into his heart somehow for all his teasing and deliberate stupidity; Fai who he worries over and because of - and the way he feels for Yuui is different but no more and no less valuable because of it. Fai is adventure and worry and excitement; Yuui is blushing like a fucking teenage girl and handholding and reading newspapers in bed.

Separate, but equal.

"Why, Kurogane," Yuui purrs. "I was hoping you'd say that."

* * *

><p>Later:<p>

Two bodies move together across the sheets. Moonlight splashes over them through the blinds and picks out details in silver; black ink of tattoo, bristly short hair. Pale skin, red eyes. Fingers tangled.

Mouths meet and part; skin slides over skin. Kurogane moans, although he'll deny it if asked. One of them whispers, "Want you inside me," and the other whispers agreement; there is lubricant in drawer of the nightstand, he says, and the other reaches over him to rummage for it. He pauses.

"What?"

"Is this a _fleshlight_?"

Heat rises in the first's cheeks. "Gift from your brother. I don't _use_ it."

"Why didn't you throw it away?"

"Are you kidding? Have you seen the staff at this place? What if I threw that away and some crazy pervert - by which I mean Seishirou - found it in the garbage, huh?"

"... Good point," says the other, and the strange little toy goes back into the drawer to be forgotten about all over again. One bends to the other; mouths meet and the cap is popped on a little tube labelled _asstroglide_.

They are one.

* * *

><p>The ceiling fan whirs lazily, doing little to lessen the closed-in, musty air of his bedroom. Kurogane stares up at it through half-lowered eyelids, his body loose and sated, and for half a second he contemplates whether or not to get up, out of his rumpled heap of sweat-soaked sheets, and turn the air conditioning unit on. It seems like it would require a lot of effort.<p>

"Mmm," purrs the blond bundled into the sheets next to him. "Kurogane, are you alright? You've got this look on your face..."

"Tch," Kurogane says, but just succeeds in making the man laugh.

For a while they lie there atop the covers of Kurogane's bed, dozing; Kurogane's not too proud to admit his body basically shuts down for a while after orgasm, and he's had more than one of those in the last twelve hours. When the chef starts moving, wriggling sideways out of bed and jolting the mattress, Kurogane rouses enough to growl at him.

"No school tomorrow," he says. "You don't have to go anywhere."

The bed stops quivering as Yuui stills, and then Kurogane registers a shadow passing over him; he opens his eyes to see Yuui leaning over him, his hair falling loose around his face.

"If I don't go turn on the air conditioning, you'll smother me to death," he says, and smiles. "You put out enough heat to qualify as a blast furnace. I'll be right back."

"Hnn," Kurogane says. He closes one eye and stretches his limbs out across the bed, along the covers. "Sure about that?"

"Um. Reasonably?" Yuui says.

"'cause I have a bathtub," Kurogane adds lazily, satisfaction thick in his voice. "And we're gross."

Yuui pauses with his hand on the air conditioning dial, and then turns to him with a grin on his face and light in his eyes. He's unashamedly naked, his hair spilling down over tattooed shoulder and spine, and Kurogane lets himself look because he _can_.

"Yes," he says. "We are." He pads back over to the bed and leans forward, kissing Kurogane slow and sweet, and then sits down. "Fai is going to be so smug."

"Tch," Kurogane says. "We'll see."

* * *

><p>"I'm <em>hooo~me<em>!" Fai announces, as though they could miss the door bouncing loudly off the wall. Kurogane grunts, not looking up from his manga; he's sitting on the couch while Yuui is curled on the floor with his legs under the kotatsu, flipping through TV channels. "Did you miss me?"

"No," Kurogane says, turning a page. "You're annoying and - _what the fuck are you wearing_."

Fai beams at him cheerfully, and Yuui glances up and blanches. Fai appears to have bought _every_ tacky touristy piece of clothing he could find; he's wearing at least twelve union jacks and a t-shirt that contains a picture of Big Ben, already peeling. "I bought some for Yuui too," he says happily. "They didn't sell any in Kuro-giant's size."

"I'll pass," Yuui says, his lip curling slightly in horror. "Fai, you're wearing a baseball cap with the Manchester United logo on it. A baseball cap sporting the logo of _the football team_. Where did you even find this stuff?"

"Oh, somewhere," Fai says absently. "Some nice people under a bridge - it doesn't really matter." He turns, dragging his suitcase all the way into the apartment, and slams the door behind him. "I bought fridge magnets and posters and _best of all_ -"

"Chocolate?" Yuui guesses wearily, and Fai beams at him.

Kurogane rolls his eyes and shifts on the couch so he doesn't have to look at Fai's walking _Tribute to a Clueless Tourist_, flipping one of the pages on his manga, and Fai drops the handle of his suitcase and wanders further into the room. "So," he says, excited. "What happened?"

"Hmm?" Yuui says, turning his attention back to the TV set, and Fai pouts and goes down to his knees next to him. "What do you mean?"

"You _know_," Fai says. "The two of you, back here?"

"Nothing," Kurogane says without looking up.

"You _locked me out of my apartment_," Yuui says, glaring. "Kurogane was kind enough to put me up overnight until the locksmith arrived."

"I'm sure he did," Fai replies, waggling his eyebrows; Yuui stares at him haughtily and then goes back to the TV. "Yuui~!"

Yuui ignores him.

"Yu~_ui_. I want to know! Give me details!"

"Nothing happened, dumbass," Kurogane says.

The smile gradually falls of Fai's face. "Are you two... serious? You aren't, are you?"

No response.

"Yuui! Kuro-slow, what - I left very specific instructions!" Angrily Fai stalked into the kitchen and Kurogane and Yuui exchanged a glance as they heard him banging around in the cupboards. "_You drank the wine!_"

"Well, yes," Yuui hollers after him. "It almost made up for being _locked out of my apartment_!"

Fai stomps back out and stands in the kitchen doorway, his shorter hair seeming to float around his face as he bristles with indignation; his gaze cuts back and forward between Kurogane and Yuui. "You're both useless," he announces.

"Says the man wearing a shirt with a picture of Tower Bridge on the back mislabelled as 'London Bridge,'" Yuui says, quirking an eyebrow. "How did you get your PhD again?"

Fai huffs. "That doesn't matter," he says. "What matters is the two of you. You're not leaving here until you get on with it."

"This is my apartment and I do keep kendo swords in it, dumbass," Kurogane remarks from the couch.

"You were supposed to get this out of the way so you'd be less..." Fai gestures vaguely, either imitating Watanuki's flailing or drawing a giraffe with three legs in the air. "Now I'll have to put up with the pair of you moaning all over again. This is unacceptable."

Kurogane slams the manga down and turns to fix the older of the twins with a piercing glare, and the gesture is so abrupt Fai actually takes a step back. "No. You want to know what's unacceptable, idiot?"

"Kurogane -"

"It's _you_ treating us like toys, fucking around with us because you're _bored_."

"I never -"

"You never what?"

"I was trying to _help_ you," Fai says through gritted teeth, and Kurogane snorts.

"Don't," he says succinctly.

Fai gazes at him thoughtfully for several heartbeats and then sighs. "Fine," he says. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not. You're just saying that, but the fact that you know you should means something. Idiot."

"Fai..." Yuui says quietly, and Fai huffs out a breath and sticks his hands in his pocket and refuses to look Yuui in the eye.

"I brought you both back some things," he says, making his way over to the suitcase, and both Kurogane and Yuui warily glance over at it.

"Not clothes?" Yuui asks.

Fai grins at him over his shoulder. "No. Look, cooking chocolate for Yuui... and look!" He triumphantly pulls a large bear out of the suitcase; it's wearing a red coat and a large bearskin hat. Yuui stares at it in mild horror. "This is for Kuro-cuddle!"

"The hell it is," Kurogane says in revulsion.

"His name's Ringo," Fai continues. "I'll just leave him in your room, shall I? ... Along with these British flag-emblazoned condoms."

"What? _No_!" Kurogane snaps, ditching the manga and scrambling off the couch, but although he lunges for Fai the idiot is like greased lightning and zips past him, tacky teddy bear under one arm and box of condoms (with, Yuui is faintly concerned to note, a snarling bulldog face on the packaging) in his hand.

"Kuro-tan is that desperate to hug Ringo-bear?" Fai calls, laughter in his voice. "If I'd known I would have brought him a cuddly bear sooner~"

"I don't give a damn about the bear, what the hell is -"

"I'll just put them in Kuro-wan's night table! For _us_!"

"... Wait, no!"

"Oh?" The scrape of the night stand drawer sliding out, and Yuui freezes as he recognises the sudden sly note to Fai's tone. "I'm sure I left Kuro-sama with a _full_ tube of lubricant..."

The bedroom door clicks open again and Kurogane emerges with a thunderous scowl on his face. Fai follows on his heels, looking like the cat who got all the cream in the world. "Kuro and Yuui, sitting in a tree~"

Kurogane grabs one of his swords from his wall and turns around slowly, and from the way Fai's eyebrows climb Yuui is fairly sure his expression must be a wonder to behold. "I'm going to murderize you," he says icily.

Really, Yuui thinks; he'd expected Fai would be home for more than fifteen minutes before the chasing and the death threats begin again.

_-fin_

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**- Cummerbund:** Sash worn around the waist in male formal dress.  
><strong>- Manchester United:<strong> Football ('soccer') team.  
><strong>- PhD:<strong> Yes, he really does have one. Fai's _special_.

That's all, folks! Hoped you liked it!


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